


Edge Of The End

by oddgit



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Because I've never tried one, Established Relationship, Eventual Smut, Fix-It, Fluff, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, I think anyways, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, Tad bit of PTSD, because they deserve a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-02 16:36:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 29,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8674750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddgit/pseuds/oddgit
Summary: So I've been out of the fanfic world for a while.I haven't tried a "fix-it" before so I just thought why not. I'm not really accepting the death of John so here's my take on what happened haha. I got the idea of Logan and his gang saving him from a fic that Thea wrote. "Not everyone dies alone". Except I took out Harper and put in Jack Salazar from "Liberty" in season 3. Also the famous doctors Enright and Tillman are back lol. Hope you enjoy, comments give me life... just saying haha Thanks :)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks as always to M_E_Lover for her beta work and all the encouragement! All mistakes are my own. And I have little medical knowledge so consulting Drs google and youtube are what I had to work with.

_This is it_. John thought. He had finally fulfilled his purpose. He had saved Harold and that was all that mattered. He knew Harold would be fine without him, he still had Grace to go back to. John didn’t have anyone… except for Harold.

He could feel the bullets ripping their way into his body. Even with his Kevlar vest on, the number of bullets that penetrated his body made the vest seem like a piece of paper, the metal shredding everything in their path. He knew it was almost over when he couldn’t feel anything anymore. The bullets just seemingly stopped. _It was fun while it lasted._ John’s mind was starting to drift, he could barely see more than a haze now so when he thought he saw 3 people running towards him, he just figured it was his mind playing tricks on him. The figures got closer, but he was just so drained, his eyes drifted shut and he felt himself start to slip into oblivion.

“John! John stay with me.” A women’s voice from what seemed like miles away yelled. He recognized the voice… but he couldn’t tell who it was. He felt as if he was floating… someone or something was carrying him through the air. He tried to open his eyes, but it was just too difficult. His chest felt completely numb, likely from the bullets annihilating all the nerves throughout it. “How much longer Logan?!?” He heard the same voice yell again.

“20 minutes tops.” A deeper voice said. John knew that voice too. “Maybe 15 if I push it.”

“Well push it or he won’t make it. I hung blood and plugged most of the holes… but they’ll only hold so long. And his BP and pulse are tanking.” John could hear a roar of what seemed like helicopter blades. “John, John can you hear me?” It was that women’s voice again. John finally managed to open his eyes. When he did he saw Dr. Megan Tillman. She smiled at him, flashing a light in his eyes. He flinched away and groaned at the pain that shot through his whole body. 

“Har…ld…” John mumbled, the coppery taste flooding his mouth as blood bubbled between his lips.

“He’s safe John. You saved him, don’t worry.” A male figure came into view… Joey Durbin. _Good._ John thought _. I can go to sleep now._  

“John just stay awake. You’re going to be okay.” Megan commanded, shoving something into the IV he had in his neck. He felt his vision start to blur… he coughed up more blood and was wheezing for air… his eyes rolled to the back of his head and fluttered shut. “John? John?” Megan put her stethoscope to his chest and listened carefully. “Sounds like he’s got a massive pneumothorax… with him spitting up blood… one of the bullets probably perforated a lung.” Megan stayed quiet for a second… “How much longer?” She shouted up to the front of the helicopter again.

“10 minutes.” The deeper voice; also, known as Logan Pierce, said back. “How are we doing back there?”

“Hurry.” Was all Megan said. “His oxygen stats are too low; I have to intubate him.” She grabbed the laryngoscope from the tray of supplies they had and slid it into John’s throat. Joey handed her the correct tube without being asked… the guy was more knowledgeable than she assumed. After she slid the tube into John’s windpipe… she checked its placement and attached an Ambu-bag once she was satisfied, she looked up to Joey. “Go grab that tube over there and the scalpel and those scissors.” She ordered. “Jack! I could use a little help back here.” She yelled to the helicopters front cockpit. After a few seconds, Jack Salazar emerged. “I need you to breathe for him.” She said gesturing down to the Ambu-bag.

“Okay.” He said rushing over to sit at John’s head. Joey returned with the supplies. She grabbed the scalpel, “I have to put in a chest tube, he won’t make it to the hospital without one. So, I’m going to need you to hand me what I ask okay?” The ex-soldier nodded, “Lift his arm over his head…carefully.” she placed the scalpel between his third and fourth ribs, and cut an incision about an inch in length. “Scissors.” Joey handed over the scissors and the doctor started to dig around in the incision to open it up for the chest tube. “Okay, tube.” After she received the tube she proceeded to insert it into his chest and attached it to a canister. Once she was finished she tied it off with a stitch and used her stethoscope to double check that everything was in its proper place. “Sounds… better.” She said with a grimace as she checked John’s vitals once more. Just as she thought everything looked right, the monitors screamed in alarm. “Damnit, he’s in v-fib…. Logan how much longer?!” She yelled.

“5 minutes.” He said back.

“Joey, can you do CPR?” She asked, remembering he was ex-military and had to be CPR certified.

“Of course.” He said back sitting up.

“Okay start, I’m going to get the defibrillator.” Joey maneuvered his way into position above John and intertwined his fingers over John’s breastbone and started chest compressions.  “Jack, do two breaths every 30 of compressions.” She started, “work together… your fellow soldier needs you.” The two men started to try to bring John back. Megan went over to the defibrillator and grabbed the paddles. “Update…” She said looking at Joey who was seemingly fixated on compressing onto John’s chest.

He answered her by counting out loud, “26…27…28…29…” Once he finished the last one he let up and moved out of the way so that Megan could shock John. She placed the paddles over his chest and sent the shock flowing through his body. John’s whole body went stiff and bowed up. He relaxed, but his heart rate remained in v-fib.

“Keep doing CPR,” Megan said to Joey. She grabbed a syringe out of one of the helicopter’s cabinets and filled it with epinephrine. “Pushing 1 unit of epi,” Megan said absently to herself… force a habit… “Let me know when you’re almost done, Joey…” She said charging the defibrillator again to 360 this time.

“27…28…29…” Joey breathed out, his shoulders slumped down and he sat back down out of the way. Jack delivered two more breaths and let go of the Ambu-bag. Megan hovered over John’s chest with the paddles.

“Don’t do this. You son of a bitch, you don’t get to save my life… all of our lives… and not let us save yours.” She placed the paddles on his chest again and delivered the shock… seconds…what seemed like hours… went by as all three of their eyes were attached to the heart rate monitor. “Sinus rhythm… barely but it’s there.” Megan breathed out, all three of their heads bowing in relief. “Logan…” Megan started…

“We’re here... Get ready to move, I’m gonna set it down!” Megan started to round up the supplies and detach the items they didn’t need to move John. She leaned down to John’s ear…

“Stay with me… you hear me? That’s an order soldier.” The helicopter set down onto the tarmac and a trauma team ran out from an elevator with a gurney. The helicopter doors opened and Megan moved the gurney outside with the help of the hospital team. Joey, Jack, and Logan all sat in their spots completely silent and watched solemnly at the scene that played out before them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So we get to see what's going on with Harold in this chapter. And we get to see just how badly poor John is hurt. Hope you enjoy!

Megan relayed his numbers to the trauma team and held the bag of blood and fluids high as they made their way to the elevator. “He’s tachycardic, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, abdomen, and right arm… three to the lower left thigh.” Once they had the gurney maneuvered into an ER bay, Tillman looked around… noticing that they were the only ones in the ER… she focused her attention back to the trauma team, helping where she was needed. Soon a female doctor walked through the doors. She was thin, had light brown skin, and her hair was tied up in a ponytail.

“Okay, what’s the damage?” She asked urgently, making her way to the head of the bed, checking all the readings on the monitor. “Damn…” She frowned, “alright set up x-rays and check that chest tube… his abdomen is rigid so he’s probably got blood in the belly… we need to get him up to the OR right now!” She looked to Dr. Tillman, “You’re Megan I presume…” She held out her hand for Megan to shake it. “I’m Maddie… Dr. Madelyn Enright.”

“Yes… wait you mean… all of this is... John and Harold… they saved you too?” The Dr. nodded her head.

“Yes, and now I believe that whomever… or whatever John and Harold work for would like us to save John.” The doctor nodded toward John where an x-ray tech was setting up the portable machine. “Would you like to join me in surgery, Dr. Tillman?”

“I’m an ER doctor… not a surgeon…” Megan replied.

“We’re going to need all the help we can get,” Maddie said glancing toward John again. Megan nodded and they made their way back into the ER bay.

#

Harold made his way to one of Harold Wren’s private clinics, Samaritan was gone now so what the hell? He didn’t even know why he was bothering… everyone he had ever cared about was dead… and John… Oh God John. Why did he always try to be the one who sacrificed himself? _I finally let someone get close to me again and he’s dead and it’s all my fault… again._

“Sir??” A nurse asked as Harold stumbled into the clinic's lobby. “Sir are you alright?”

“I seem to be in need of… some assistance…” Harold slurred as he stumbled further inside, blood soaking his clothing, and collapsed into her arms.

“I need some help over here now!”

#

The hum of the machines and beep of all the monitors John was hooked up to made the room much louder. The ICU was fairly large, but John was the only one in it… Megan was checking his vitals when Maddie came in. “How is he doing?”

“Well, considering I didn’t even think he would make it off the chopper… pretty well.”

“Yeah, not to mention coming back from flat-lining during surgery,” Maddie added, moving over to check the chest tube output. They had removed most of the bullets but a few of them still remained. It was basically just damage control, trying to stop the bleeding and fix the more pressing internal injuries. Once he stabilized more, they would go back in and fix his broken bones, and take out the rest of the bullets that they had to leave behind. He had a fractured pelvis, his right humerus and clavicle were broken, a broken left femur, 5 broken ribs, his left lung had been perforated and his stomach, liver, and spleen had all been grazed or ripped apart by the lead that was scattered throughout his torso. The most pressing matter was the bullet that was sitting right next to his aorta. Luckily, John had the best cardiothoracic surgeon in the state to remove it and to repair his heart.

“You think he’s going to make it?” Megan asked Maggie after she put her stethoscope back around her neck.

“Well… He’s proved he’s a fighter... He shouldn’t have made it off that rooftop let alone off the OR table… we just have to let him fight it now on his own.” Maddie said looking down at John. After she didn’t look away; Megan cleared her throat. “Sorry, it’s just… he saved my wife’s life the last time I saw him… she told me that he took out at least 4 guys by himself… and now…”

“I know...” Megan started, she decided to shift the focus… “I can’t help but wonder where Harold is…”

“I was thinking the same thing. When you brought him in, I was expecting to see Harold pacing along with you…  Wait you don’t think he…” Maddie started.

“No. No, my friends said he was safe… but they don’t really say much, speaking of that I should probably go update them… do you mind staying with him?” Megan asked.

“Of course...” Maddie pulled up a chair beside John’s bed and grabbed his chart to check things over again.

#

Megan made her way out into the waiting room where Logan, Jack, and Joey had been for the past 6 hours the surgery had taken. When she walked through the doors all three men stood up and made their way towards her. “He made it through surgery… but he’s still in very rough shape.” She started. “It was basically just damage control… get in, fix the most important stuff and get out.”

“He hasn’t woken up again has he?” Logan asked actually appearing worried about the man that had saved his life… attitude aside, he seemed to actually care about John.

“No. We have him in a medically induced coma. The pain he’d be in would be enough to send him into shock. Besides that, his lungs and heart aren’t strong enough again to wake him yet.”

“Damn…” Joey sighed.

Jack’s head dropped in frustration. “If we had just gotten there 3 minutes earlier…” All four of them just stood there sadly and hoped that they weren’t too late for John and that they hadn’t let him down.

Megan finally broke the silence, “Where’s Harold, Logan?” Logan remained silent and looked down at the floor. “He’d want to be here and you know it.” She stated.

“It’s more complicated than that Megan.” He retorted back looking up at her.

“Like hell. John’s in there fighting for his life and you’re telling me we can’t contact the one person we know he’s close to?” She was visibly angry.

“No. We can’t.” Was all he said.

“And why not?”

“Because he thinks John’s dead Megan.” He raised his voice. “And we have a good authority to believe that that is how John wants it.”

“No. There’s no way. You tell your boss that Harold needs to be here. He needs to be with his friend!” Megan yelled back. “Or I’ll go find him myself.”

“Maybe it’s not such a bad idea… if it were me… I would want to know.” Joey spoke up. “And you said yourself… you haven’t heard anything since the rooftop…” He trailed off.

“Fine. But I’ll go find him. You three stay here, and keep me updated.” Logan said grabbing his coat. “And Megan…” He turned around to make his way out the door. “Keep him alive…”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this chapters a bit on the longer side but... Harold and John finally reunite in this chapter! :) Even if the circumstances aren't the best. Hope you enjoy! Oh and I have to give credit to KaticaLocke, I absolutely loved the line where she said "John Reese got shot, changed his shirt and went back out." Or something along those lines! So I used it in this chapter.

Finch was getting ready to leave the clinic… against doctor’s orders… eight hours after they removed the bullet from his stomach. Luckily it wasn’t deep enough to cause major damage, so it was a fairly simple procedure to perform. But he had still lost a tremendous amount of blood and was very weak from the ordeal. “I have to go. I’ll sign whatever release forms I have too.” He winced standing up from the bed. He took a step forward carefully so he didn’t stumble. The doctor’s finally had to allow him to go, it was no use arguing because he was not going to stay no matter how hard they tried to convince him and legally it was out of their hands. He made his way out of the hospital and into the city. Calling for a car he saw a familiar face in the crowd of people, Logan Pierce. He looked like he was searching for someone. Debating on whether to approach him or not, he decided the latter. Making his way towards the town car he called for, he heard Logan call his name.

“Harold!” Harold didn’t turn around and started limping towards the car as fast as he could make his body move. He could hear that Logan started to run, and kept yelling for him. “Harold wait!” He had just made it to the door of the car and almost lowered himself inside before Logan’s hand wrapped around his bicep. “After all, we’ve been through Harold… you’re just going to ignore me?” He had that infuriatingly smug grin on his face.

“What is it, Mr. Pierce? I have places to be.” He replied shortly trying his best to conceal the pain he was in.

“Isn’t that the truth.” Pierce scoffed back.

“Excuse me? If you’ve had your fun, I’d like to go now Mr. Pierce.” Harold started to get back into the car but Logan grabbed his arm again.

“John’s alive Harold.” He decided not to poke at Harold and waste any more time. “He’s alive and fighting like hell to stay that way.”

Harold’s face went pale and his expression turned cold. His heart started to beat faster in his chest with every breath, the warmth brought on by the hope of seeing John again grew. “If this is some kind of joke Mr. Pierce, I don’t find it funny in the least.”

“Well… I guess you’re going to have to come with me to find out, aren’t you?” Pierce smiled back. “And please, anyone who saves my life gets to call me Logan.” Harold couldn’t believe it. There was no way. He saw John getting shot at, he heard the missile destroy the building… but… if John was alive and he didn’t go… he’d never forgive himself. So, he went.

#

Megan made her way back to John’s room after Logan had left. She entered to see Maddie leaning over him re-dressing one of his many wounds. “How is he?” Megan asked scrubbing her hands in the sink.

“The same,” Maddie replied as she placed the last strip of tape.

“Well, Logan went to look for Harold.” She said looking at the monitors. “I don’t know the chances of him finding him, but at least he’s trying.”

“That’s good.” Maddie started. “I think I’m going to get some rest… would you like me to bring you in a cot or something?”

“No, I think I’m fine. We can share shifts if you’d like, I’ll take the first one and then when you come back, I’ll go try to get some sleep.” Megan suggested.

“Okay, sounds like a plan. If anything happens, please have one of the nurses page me.” Maddie asked before she left. Megan leaned forward and grabbed John’s hand. It was clammy and cold, not a good sign.

“Hey, John…” She whispered. “We’ll find him… don’t worry. He’ll be here when you wake up.” She felt the sting of tears creep up into her eyes. “So don’t you dare give up.”

#

The drive to the hospital was… long, and painful. They had gone through mountains and hills, something Harold had forgotten even existed in New York. He remained quiet. He had what seemed like one hundred questions… but he didn’t want to ask them. So, he just stared out the window the whole drive. They pulled into view of a large, white and cream colored building. It had to be either a privately funded hospital or just a very secluded 5-star hospital in the middle of nowhere that Harold had never heard of before. “Where are we?” He finally asked as they pulled up to the front of the building.

“Dashwood Memorial Hospital.” Pierce paused after Harold’s glare threatened to burn a hole through him. “An anonymous donor built it in 2012.” Harold was speechless. And by the look on Logan’s face, his suspicions about who the anonymous donor was… were correct. “Let’s go see John, shall we?” Logan got out and opened the door for Harold.

#

Megan was checking the chest tubes that they had inserted when she heard a loud commotion outside. Finishing what she was doing, she made her way outside to see what was happening.

“Let go of me! If he’s alive then let me see him!” It was Harold. He was struggling against the hold that Jack had on him. Logan and Joey were standing in front of him.

“Harold let me go get the doctor and then you can see him. Just relax.”

“I’m right here Logan,” Megan said walking up from behind him. “Hello, Harold… Jack let go of him please.” Harold was released and he smoothed down his vest and straightened his tie. 

“Dr…Dr. Tillman?” He breathed out in disbelief. “Mr. Pierce, Mr. Salazar, Mr. Durbin and now you?” He sighed and closed his eyes. “Never mind. May I please see John?”

“Of course…” Megan started putting her hand on his back, she saw how pale and sickly he looked but knew that there was nothing that would stop or slow him down. “But I need you to prepare yourself… The John you’re about to see in this bed… is not the same John that you remember.”

“Dr. Tillman may I please just see him. I’m still not quite sold on the fact that he’s even alive.” Harold pleaded, his voice sick with desperation.

“Alright, follow me.” She led him back to the ICU where John was. When they entered the room, Harold couldn’t stifle his gasp. His knees began to feel weak and his stomach churned. The world began to spin again. Everything dim, tiny dots of lights sparking the reality across his field of vision. His lips tingled and he broke into a cold sweat. “We were able to go in and stop the internal bleeding and fix the more pressing injuries.” She started to explain. “But he’s still looking at least 3 or 4 more surgeries. He’s got a fractured pelvis…” Harold lifted up his hand for her to stop. He trembled as he sluggishly made his way over to the chair next to John’s bed.

“How did you… where…” Harold couldn’t speak. His mouth felt like it was full of cotton.

“Logan contacted me yesterday morning saying that John was going to need my help. He Jack and Joey showed up on my doorstep and took me to a helicopter. We flew in and grabbed him off the rooftop before the missile hit.” She replied to his unspoken question. When he didn’t say anything, just remained staring at John… she continued with her earlier assessment. “He has a fractured pelvis, broken ribs, a perforated lung, his stomach, spleen, and liver were all injured, his right humerus and clavicle are broken, and his right femur is shattered.”

Harold responded with dry and hurtful sarcasm… “Is that it…?” He was clearly pained to see John in such a state, so… helpless and near death.

“Well, we removed a bullet that was sitting right next to his aorta, so his heart has some damage, but Maddie managed to repair it.”  

Harold closed his eyes and managed to hold back the tears that formed at the corners of his eyes. Up close, Finch found it hard to look at him, so still and damaged.  “It’s all my fault. He did this for me. It was supposed to be me, but he tricked me and I went to the wrong building.” He whispered with his eyes still clamped shut. This could not be true. John Reese didn’t get hurt like this. John Reese got shot, changed his shirt and went back out to finish the mission.

“Harold. He’s still alive. Don’t go blaming yourself just yet.” Megan patted him on the shoulder. She noticed that he was visibly in pain and not just at the sight of John. “Harold? Are you alright?”

“Fine, I just… I may have just had stomach surgery a few hours ago.”

“You what?!?” She hissed. “Harold! Get over on that couch right now!” She ordered.

“I’m fine Dr. Tillman, nothing time and a few pills won’t fix.”

“Harold. Get over on the couch so I can check you over. Now.” He saw the look on her face and didn’t have the strength to argue. So, he arose from the chair slowly and made his way to the couch in John’s ICU room.

#

Megan checked Harold over and decided that despite his serious injury the doctor that worked on him had done a damn good job and that he would be okay if he didn’t push himself too hard. Which was exactly what Harold had been trying to tell her and he didn’t hold back on the snide remarks. She had set him up with a nice comfortable sleeper chair to sit in next to John’s bed. “How long until he will wake up?” He asked Megan when she came in to do one of her check-ups on John’s condition the next morning.

Megan sighed, “Harold…” she looked at him, but he wouldn’t take his eyes away from John, “He lost almost half his blood volume and has approximately 20 pieces of shrapnel still left in his body.” He looked up at her with horror at her words. “I’m sorry Harold… it’s just… he made it through the night so that’s a good sign. This just isn’t something that he’s going to recover from overnight…”

“No don’t apologize… It’s just…” Harold looked back to the ex-op lying in the bed. “It’s just…”

“You were so excited to hear he was alive, but you didn’t know it would be like this.” Megan finished his thought for him.

“Yes...” He breathed out worryingly. Maddie came in through the doors after a minute of silence,

“Oh, good Harold you’re here!” She said with excitement.

“Dr. Enright?” He asked in disbelief.

“How are you, Harold? It’s been a while.”

“I’ve been better…” He replied. “How… why are you here?” He asked.

“To make a long story short Harold… let’s just say I got a call and was told that John here was hurt and needed my help. So, I came immediately.” Harold opened his mouth the answer, but he decided to just let it go… he obviously knew it was the machine. “How is he doing this morning?” Maddie asked turning her attention to John.

“Hanging on,” Megan said with a small smile.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy!

Two days had passed and Megan and Maddie had determined that John was stable enough and they could go in to try to repair some more of his injuries and try to remove the rest of the shrapnel. “We’re going to try to fix the femur first. It’s the worst injury of the four. While I fix that, Megan will go in and try to remove the remaining fragments of metal, and stitch him up on the inside.” Maddie had told Harold and the other three men while in the waiting room. The nursing staff was prepping John for surgery. “If we get in there and things take a turn for the worse, if we can, we’ll close him up and wait to fight another day.” She said with an optimistic smile on her face.

“After the surgery… will he be strong enough to wake up?” Harold asked, pretty much guessing the worst.

“It depends Harold,” Megan spoke up. “It all depends on how his body handles the stress of surgery again this soon.”

“Okay,” Harold mumbled… looking down at his shoes. Megan and Maddie left to get ready for surgery and Harold followed them into John’s room.

“Let’s give Harold a minute guys,” Megan said noting the smaller man standing silently in the corner. The nurses and doctors left the room, all nodding to Harold as they walked out. “Only a few minutes Harold,” Megan said walking out to the nurse’s station outside the door.

Harold looked at the younger man lying in the hospital bed, seemingly lifeless. He slowly made his way over to the bed… grabbing John’s hand he finally let it all out. “I’m s... s... sorry.” He sobbed. “If you would have j…just l... let me do it. You wouldn’t b… be g… going through this.” Harold closed his eyes tight. “P…please don’t die. I can’t h…handle losing you twice.” He grasped John’s cold hand and wiped his tear covered eyes, he knew it was selfish… John would rather be dead than be so vulnerable and weak that he needed a machine to breathe for him… but Harold didn’t care. He needed him and he just realized it on the rooftop. Megan walked back into the room and put a warm hand on Harold’s shoulder.

“We have to go Harold. You can see him when he wakes up.” She had a sincere smile on her face, and somehow Harold tried hard and actually believed her.

#

“Do you think you got all the fragments?” Maddie asked Megan as they were scrubbing out of surgery.

“I think so but as you know, the only way to tell for sure will be an x-ray,” Megan replied. The surgery was considered successful. John’s BP tanked once, but they managed to stabilize him and continue. His femur was worse off than they thought, Maddie had to put in a titanium plate and 16 screws to piece it back together.

“I still don’t feel comfortable extubating him…” Maddie started…

“Me either.” Megan cut in as she wiped her hands and arms with a paper towel.

“His lung function just isn’t what I’d like it to be and not to mention the trauma to his heart… if we take him off too early…”

“It could ruin everything we’ve done so far,” Megan interjected again.

“Right.”

#

“Everything went well.” Megan started as she approached the four men sitting in the same spot they were in earlier in the waiting room. The walls were a cream color, decorated by the border of flowers and plants. “Maddie put in 16 screws and a plate.” Harold’s mouth dropped… he knew what it was like to have metal in your body holding things together. “I was able to remove the remaining metal fragments and stitch any bleeders they caused.” Jack, Joey, and Logan all sighed in relief but Harold still wasn’t satisfied.

“And…” Harold said, asking the same question he had every single time before this.

“We’re not comfortable with extubating him yet Harold. Which means he still has to stay sedated.”  Harold sighed and ran his fingers through his graying brown hair. They made their way to John’s room, all of them. It would be the first-time Joey, Jack and Logan had seen John since the helicopter. Harold took his usual spot right next to John’s bed in his comfortable chair, and the three other men took up on the couch, their eye’s widening at the sight of John hooked up to what seemed like endless tubes and wires. The doctors set to work, checking John’s incisions and all the tubes sticking out of him. Once they were finished, Logan said that he and Jack would go get food for everyone from the cafeteria downstairs. It was Megan’s turn to get some rest and Joey, Harold and Maddie all remained in John’s room.

#

Harold was exhausted and had fallen asleep in the chair to the sound of the soft hum of the ventilator and the gentle beep of the heart monitor.

_Harold woke to the sound of John in the kitchen making breakfast. He put on his robe and joined him. The smell of pancakes was amazing and the sight of John standing at the stove shirtless in nothing but his pajama pants was even better. “Morning Finch.” He giggled at Harold’s bed head. “Oh yes, it’s very funny. Not all of us can jump out of bed looking perfect.” Harold teased back. “But you’re perfect to me Harold,” John whispered coming over to him and wrapping him in a giant bear hug. The fire alarm sounded at the smoke coming from John’s burning pancakes. He ran over and took them off the burner, waving a towel around the alarm to make the screeching stop… Harold looked on in amusement._

Only the screeching wasn’t the fire alarm, it was John’s heart monitor… and he didn’t wake up to see John standing shirtless uninjured at the stove, he woke up to see him struggling in the hospital bed, and he looked like he was choking.

“Dr. Tillman! Dr. Enright! Someone help!!!” Harold yelled out the door; a nurse and both Megan and Maddie came running into the room. “I… I think he’s choking.” Harold stammered…

“Joey get him out of here,” Megan ordered the ex-soldier who got up and put an arm around Finch’s chest and tried to pry him away.

“Come on Harold. Let them work.” Joey whispered gently.

“No! No! What’s wrong?!” He pleaded, his voice cracking with every word.

“Joey!” Megan yelled and Joey physically pulled Harold out of the room. He got him out into the hallway and finally let him go.

“I’m getting quite tired of being manhandled like that Mr. Durbin.” Finch shot back at him, pain physically and emotionally etched in his every feature.

“Sorry Harold…” He started. “But you just have to let them do their job.” He said. And for a second, Harold thought he was talking to John. That’s exactly what he would have said…


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... John wakes up :)

The doctors walked out into the hallway towards the four men. Jack and Logan had gotten back from their errand run. Getting new clothes and food. Anything Harold needed really. “What’s wrong? Is he okay? Oh, God, he’s not dead is he?” Finch stammered, holding his breath.

“Harold he’s fine.” Megan started. “He wasn’t choking. He was fighting against the ventilator.”

Harold thought for a minute until he realized what that meant. “Wait. If he was…”

“We extubated him and are slowly waking him up Harold.”

Harold choked back a sob and closed his eyes. His heart dropped into his stomach and he couldn’t help but let out a shaky sigh of relief.

“But I want you to understand that he’s not out of the woods yet. There’s still a possibility that he could go downhill and fast.”

“I understand Dr. Tillman.” He uttered back.

#

Harold was sitting in his chair, like always. It had been a couple hours since they had started to ease John off sedation, but he hadn’t woken up yet. Harold wasn’t stupid. He heard Tillman and Maddie talking in the hallway… John had gone into cardiac arrest and flat lined once… his brain was without oxygen for a full 7 minutes during the crisis. “Take all the time you need John. I’ll be here.” Harold whispered to him when he first came back into the room. He felt guilty, he told John he’d never lie to him… he couldn’t wait for him to wake up… he needed him to wake up immediately... for his own sake as well as for his partner’s.

#

John woke up… well if you could call it waking up… he was aware of some things, but he couldn’t move or talk or open his eyes.  All he could feel was a dull ache of pain in his entire body. He drifted back off to sleep. The next time he woke up… he was much more aware of what was going on. He was confused at first, not remembering where he was or what had happened before he lost consciousness.  He managed to open his eyes and the first thing he saw was… Harold.  

#

Harold hadn’t taken his eyes from John for almost an hour. The last time he looked up was when one of the nurses came in to start a new blood transfusion. He was staring at the younger man that was lying motionless in the bed. He saw John’s pale fingers twitch on the soft white cotton blanket they were lying on. He thought he was hallucinating, but then John’s bright sky blue eyes cracked open.

“Oh my God. You’re awake. John? Can you hear me?” Harold gasped sitting up to scoot closer to John. “John?” He said as the younger man’s eye’s closed and he seemed to scowl in pain. “Hold on, I’ll go get the doctors.”

“Wa...” was all John could get out of his sore inflamed throat. He tried to cough, only to throw his head back onto the pillow in excruciating pain. Right now, Reese couldn’t find it in himself to care about the pain. He only cared about Finch: where he was, how he was. Harold rushed over, he placed his hand carefully onto the ex- op's sternum.  The warm palm on John's chest offered as much comfort and understanding as the heat and reassurance in his partner's eyes.

“Please Mr. Reese, don’t move… you’re badly injured. I’m just going to go get the doctors and I’ll be right back, I promise.” Harold smiled and went to fetch the two doctors.

“Welcome back John,” Megan said walking through the door with Harold and Maddie. “You gave us quite the scare… how do you feel?”

“Throat… hurts…” He rasped out as he pointed to his trachea.

“Yes, that’s normal. You were intubated for 4 days.” Maddie answered. “I’ll go get a nurse to get you some water and ice chips.” She left the room signaling the nurse to get them.

“Do you remember anything at all John?” Megan asked sitting on the side of the bed next to him, careful of the tubes and wires.

“I... should be dead… that’s what… I remember.” John answered. He was finding the formation of words more difficult than he would have liked; they came out sounding more gravelly than even his normal quiet tones.

“Yes, yes you should.” She grinned back. “You’re very lucky John… but you’re still seriously injured and will need more surgeries to repair everything.”

“Sounds like fun.” John murmured out. “So… what’s the damage?”

Megan told him about all his injuries. Everything they’ve fixed and everything they still had to fix. Once she finished, John felt a strong wave of fatigue start to pull him back under. He tried to hide it from them, but he must be losing his touch because Megan noticed.

“Alright, I’ll get out of your hair…” She started. “I know I shouldn’t even ask because I already know what your answer will be but what’s your pain on a scale of 1-10?” She frowned, hoping he wouldn’t just act like he was okay.

“8.” He rasped out, eyeing the water and ice chips the nurse had just brought in the room. Harold’s eyes grew wide… he knew from his own experience how bad the pain must be for John to admit that it was an eight.

“Okay anyone else it would probably be a 10 but at least it’s better than what I thought I’d get. I’ll give you some more morphine.” She walked over and decompressed a syringe into John’s IV line.

“Get some rest, I want to operate on that pelvis as soon as possible.” Maddie came over and smiled at Harold then at John, patting him on the hand. Both doctors left, leaving the two men to themselves. It was quiet. Harold didn’t know what to say. _What do you say to someone who has basically come back from the dead?_ He thought to himself ruefully, having lived through the experience himself. Finally, after seeing John staring at the cup of water with thirsty eyes, he got up to help him.

“Here...” Harold said placing the straw between his fingers and lifted it up to John’s mouth. John put his lips to it and sipped, the cold water mercifully coating his tender swollen throat.

“Ahhhhh” John sighed, his eyes were getting heavier with every passing second. “So…Harold, what happened?” He breathed out.

“It’s rather… complicated.” Harold started and picked up the cup of ice chips, he held out the spoon to John’s mouth. “I’ll tell you when you’re not buzzed out of your mind on opiates.” The corner of Harold’s mouth quirked up into a smirk and John took the ice into his mouth, “Besides… I’m not even sure I understand 100% yet.”

“Mmmmm.” John hummed. Harold couldn’t help but frown at the way John looked… so helpless… so… hurt. He went to get another spoonful of ice chips from the cup when he realized John was fast asleep.

#

“Alright John, ready?” It was the next afternoon and Megan and Maddie were taking John in to fix his pelvis fracture and his clavicle and humerus.

“As I’ll ever be.” He responded sleepily, the drugs already taking over his mind. “Love you Harold.” He said drowsily with a smile as a nurse wheeled his bed past Harold.

“Take it in now, he’s not going to be very happy when he wakes up,” Megan said realistically. She had already informed Harold and John on how painful the surgery would be, and how John would have to get up and walk within the next day or two. _Jesus. He just woke up from a coma and they’re making him walk already?_ Harold thought. He cringed at remembering how much pain he was in when they made him first walk after his fusion surgery and the rest of his multiple fractures, Hell did not adequately describe the agony he endured for long months after...

“Love you too, John,” Harold whispered with a smile, bending down to gently kiss the younger injured man. The nurses wheeled John into the OR and Harold went back to sit in the waiting room. He had sent Logan, Jack and Joey to go get some clothes for John to wear and some other necessities. After his last surgery, he’d need comfortable clothes for physical rehabilitation. John hadn’t been awake much since he woke up last night, but when he was, Harold would inform him on small bits and pieces of everything that had happened… how The Machine had obviously had other plans for him, and how Logan, Jack, and Joey worked for The Machine now, but John had whispered something about him knowing that already, which Harold just figured was the morphine talking… He told him about how Jack, Joey, Logan and Megan rescued him from the roof. That Megan and Maddie operated and saved his life. He also told him about his own gunshot injury, which made John’s heart rate quicken and he was clearly upset when Megan had to come in and sedate him. But through it all, all John ever said was how Harold should have just left. Which Harold got quite dismayed at the fact John thought he would ever do such a thing…

#

John was a mess. Having metal pins, screws and plates shoved into your collarbone, upper arm, pelvis, and thigh… gives even ex-CIA agents almost unbearable pain. Harold was helping him eat some ice chips after what was hopefully his last surgery since they could repair his arm and pelvis in the same operation. John was running a low-grade fever, a common complication after surgery is what the doctors had told them.

“Well… you officially have more metal in your body than me.” Harold smirked, just trying to get John to talk. John smiled, swallowing a piece of ice. “How’s the pain?” Harold asked with a frown. His heart physically ached for John. He could tell he was hurting but didn’t want to show it.

“Bearable.” John grated out. His eyes started to get heavy and he let out a long sigh.  

“You should rest,” Harold said, running his fingers through John’s soft graying hair at his temples.

“But I wanna… talk to you.” John’s glassy eyes struggled to focus.

“We can talk later… you ought to sleep, you’re exhausted and undoubtedly in so much pain even I cannot imagine…” John sighed again and gave Harold an unhappy look. “I promise we’ll talk as soon as you wake up…” He smiled and John closed his eyes, seemingly falling asleep as soon as his eyes fluttered shut. _Good._ Harold thought. _He deserves sleep… he’s certainly missed out on enough of it the past five years._


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more much needed John and Harold bonding :) and Jack, Logan and Joey finally get to see John.   
> And yes, Harold is reading John "Our Mutual Friend" by Charles Dickens ;)

Harold woke up when Dr. Enright came into the room early the next morning. He sat up gingerly, trying to rub the soreness out of his neck, and being careful with his abdominal region. He looked at John who was still sleeping and Harold let out a sigh of relief. He almost hoped John could sleep through the next couple of days as they would be complete agony as far as the pain. “Just checking a few things,” Maddie whispered.

Each precise move she made Harold watched and hoped John wouldn’t wake up. One time when she checked the incision on his chest, John started to stir… only to fall silent again. Harold let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. She finished her checks and turned to Harold after washing her hands. “He’s fine. Go back to sleep.” She patted him on the shoulder and left the room, shutting the door behind her without so much as a creak. Harold let his eyes shut and relief settled into him, slowly he drifted off to sleep again.

#

Harold woke up about three hours later. He sat up in the chair and noticed John was awake too. “Morning,” John mumbled out, turning his head to look at Finch. Harold could clearly tell the ex-op was in pain. He was sweating, and his labored breathing was more than enough to satisfy Harold’s suspicions.

“Good morning. Do you want me to get one of the doctors or a nurse? You look…” Harold paused when John glared at him. “O-kay…” Harold held up his hands in defense. “Will you at least humor me and press your pain button?”

“…. Fine.” John sighed and clicked the PCA pump’s button sitting beside his good arm. Harold opened his mouth to talk but was cut off when the three men walked in through the room.

“Hey, Johnny,” Joey said walking up to the bed.

“Looking good John,” Logan added.

“We snuck in… Megan has been locking us up in the waiting room for the past couple days.” Jack said with a smirk.

“Hey, guys,” John said, smiling as he tried to maneuver his bed to sit up. Harold managed to sit forward and push the button for him. John sighed and rolled his eyes… fronting his attention to the other men. He stuck his good hand out as best he could with the IV protruding from it, to shake their hands. “Sorry I’d get up but you know…” He smirked as the three shook his hand.

“Well… We’re glad you made it John. Harold here isn’t his cheery bubbly self without you.” Logan said. John smiled, as all of them started a conversation… talking about random things. The weather, the room, asking how John felt. The kind of things people talked about when they were in a hospital and didn’t know what else to say. Megan came into the room soon after,

“Well… I _thought_ I said only one visitor at a time. And I _thought_ I said that Harold gets first dibs.” She said with a half-smile and half-scolding look on her face.

“Yeah, well it’s not fair when Harold never leaves.” Logan teased. Harold shot him a scowl. “Woah, easy Harold I’m just kidding.” He smiled sheepishly.

John let out a breath and laid his head back on the pillow. Only Megan noticed,

“Alright that’s it, visiting hours are over. Harold can stay but you three, out.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re going.” Logan scoffed. All three men said goodbye to John and Harold and walked out into the hallway.

“Well John, how do you feel about trying to walk a little?” Megan asked.

“I’m not in the mood to joke around Megan.” Reese countered.

“I’m not joking. Maddie had to go out for the day, but we both decided that you should get up today and move around a little bit.” John’s eyes widened. “It’s been a day and a half since your surgery. Standard protocol is a day or two.” She started to move all the machines and wires that John was hooked up to so that he could get out of bed. He looked at her, annoyed at the thought. She put down one side of the bed railing and pressed the button to lift his bed up more. Two other nurses came into the room to help. “Alright. Ready?”

“I… I think so.” John managed to sit up with a couple grunts and groans of pain and with the help of the nurses and Megan. Harold sat back and watched. He felt so helpless, he wanted to help, wanted to make everything okay again.

“Harold come here,” Megan said, managing to hold John still on the side of the bed, his legs were hanging down onto the floor. Harold jumped at the chance to do something. John looked completely exhausted just from sitting up, what would happen when he had to walk? “Hold him, like this,” Megan said, showing him where to place his hands to not hurt John. Harold looked at John for a minute, not touching him.

“You can touch me, Harold… I won’t break.” John wheezed, out of breath from the strenuous activity of sitting up out of bed. Harold smiled, placing his hands in the correct places Megan had told him. He hadn’t noticed how thin John had gotten in the last 5 days until now, it bothered Harold immensely. Megan moved and started to clear their pathway and then shut the door. “I thought I was going to… walk.” John breathed out.

“You are… to the door and back.” Megan said motioning towards the door. She walked back over towards the bed and took over for Harold. “Alright, here we go. We’ll do all the work, so just relax and don’t tense up.” Megan started, “1… 2… 3” and they lifted John up onto his feet. The dizziness and pain the overtook him was almost unbearable, he stumbled forward but luckily Megan and the nurses had a good hold on him and he didn’t fall to the ground. “Are you okay?” Megan asked in her doctor voice.

“Yeah, I just… got… a little dizzy.” He huffed.

“Yeah, that happens when you don’t stand up for almost a week.” She said, “Okay one foot in front of the other John. Just like you’ve done a million times.” She smiled at him and he managed a forced smile back. He continued the few short steps to the door and back and returned to the bed.

“Wonderful John!” Harold grinned and praised the weakened man that had become his lifeline to the world. “One step at a time, as in all things John,” Harold stated proudly as he gazed into his partner's tired eyes. “One step at a time.”

#

Back in bed later that night, John was listening to Harold read him a book. Harold had given Logan and the guys a list of things to grab, a few of Harold’s favorite books being on it. John had his eyes shut, listening to the sweet sound of Harold’s lovely reading voice. He was in the middle of reading the tragedy of Rokesmith clearly falling in love with Bella Wilfer but she not being able to accept him, having insisted that she will marry only for money… when Megan came into the room.

“Sorry to interrupt,” she said noticing Harold close the book. “Check-up time.” She said with a smile. Harold scooted his chair back and John opened his eyes. “Feeling alright? How’s your pain?” She asked, lifting his blankets and gown to check his chest and stomach incisions.

“A little sore,” John answered back.

“Mmmmhmmm,” Megan said, removing the bandage where Maddie cracked his chest open. “Looks good here…” She said. She moved on, checking everything else and double checking all his vitals and listening to his lungs with the stethoscope. “Okay John, we’re going to take you off the liquid diet and move to soft high protein foods. You’ll start getting some of your strength back and put a few pounds back on.”

“Sounds good.” He answered back. Megan left a little plastic menu on the pull-out tray on the side of his bed. John didn’t even bother to look at it, he just closed his eyes, signaling for Harold to keep reading.

“Aren’t you hungry?” Harold asked, sitting up and grabbing the laminated piece of paper. John opened his eyes and looked at Harold, “Don’t give me that look either. You haven’t eaten regular food in six days. How about some pudding?” John didn’t answer, he just kept looking at Harold. His mouth quirked up when Harold kept offering certain foods in different languages and accents. Finally, when he offered to make one of the three guys out in the waiting room go and get John his favorite tomato soup from Vincini's on 46th street… John couldn’t help but nod his head.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor John.

“I thought you weren’t hungry?” Finch said sarcastically as he watched John swallow the last bit of soup. He gazed up from the bowl and gave Finch a glare. “You know, I was thinking… it’s going to be a while before you get out of here but… I thought maybe we could get a nice house somewhere upstate… you know, out of the city… away from the violence, we have had to deal with for so long.” Harold burst out, almost regretting it immediately after. _Where did that come from? A nice house upstate? What are we newlyweds? Good one Harold, if he wasn’t basically strapped to the bed he’d probably take off right now._

“That sounds nice Finch.” Reese sighed, pushing the table to the side of the bed and lying his head back down on the pillow.  “I’d like that.” Harold’s mouth gaped not expecting that answer, he quickly closed his mouth shut again not wishing for John to see how shocked he was at his reply.

#

Maddie woke up to a beeping sound. It took her a second to realize it was her pager. Well, the pager that one of the nurses had given her when she first got to the hospital right before John was brought in. She jumped out of the bed in one of the on-call rooms and grabbed it off the nightstand. She read the flashing fluorescent green letters and numbers, John 911. She threw herself out of the room and down the hallway. She could see the nurses rushing into John’s room and hear the sirens of the heart monitor blaring as she approached the door. She saw one of the nurses pushing Harold out into the hallway, a hand on his chest holding him from going back into the room. When she got into the room, she saw John grabbing his chest, struggling to breathe. “What happened?” She asked a nurse who was putting an oxygen mask over John’s face.

“Harold said he was fine and then he couldn’t breathe.” The nurse responded.

“John? Having trouble breathing?” Maddie asked, checking his vitals. He nodded his head yes. “Is it like pins and needles or pressure in your chest?”

“Pressure… can’t breathe…” He gasped through the mask. Each breath feeling like his chest was going to rip apart. He was writhing on the bed, struggling with every breath.

“His BP’s 64/48… Pulse is 52… Respiration is 28.” Maddie grimaced and grabbed the stethoscope off her neck. “Diminished muffled breathing on the right side…” She put the stethoscope back around her neck and Megan came into the room.

“Fill me in.” She said immediately jumping into action.

“I think it’s a Cardiac tamponade… get me an ultrasound.” One of the nurses wheeled in an ultrasound machine. Maddie lifted John’s gown and put the gel on his chest. He was wheezing now and it was getting harder and harder to stay aware. “Stay with me John,” Maddie said as she ran the wand over the cold gel on his chest. She looked over onto the screen and her suspicions were true. He had fluid in his pericardium. “Okay. 18-gauge needle. I’m going to do a pericardiocentesis.” She turned her attention to John who had his eyes closed, fighting for every breath. “John you have fluid around your heart. We have to stick a needle in your chest to drain it.”

“Sounds…like…fun…” John breathed out, puffing between words.

Megan and some of the nurses got everything ready while Maddie ordered the rest of them to start him on fluids. “Okay here we go,” Maddie said grabbing the syringe attached to the needle. Megan grabbed the ultrasound and held it in position. “You’re going to feel a stick here John…” Maddie warned as she inserted the needle, watching the ultrasound to make sure she didn’t go too far and puncture his heart. John didn’t even flinch. She decompressed the plunger, revealing a yellowish-red fluid. She threaded a catheter down into his chest over the needle to allow it to continue to drain for as long as it needed.

“His BP’s going up,” Megan said looking at the monitor. “And his heart rhythm is stabilizing.”

“Good… Okay, we’re done for the moment. I put in the catheter in so it can keep draining. I don’t want to have to cut you open again but if it keeps building up John… I’m going to have to do a thoracotomy.” She said leaning down, a hand on his shoulder.

“Okay…” He slurred back with his eyes shut, Megan swapped the breathing mask for a nasal cannula. “Harold…” He breathed out, turning his head to look at Maddie.

“I’ll go get him. You just relax.” Maddie said, turning to leave the room.

#

Harold, unaware of his own actions, slid down the wall to the floor, every inch his body moved made his back throb even more. He found himself sitting on the floor in the hallway with his knees crouched up against his chest and his head resting against the wall, the wound in his abdomen stabbed sharply but he hardly registered the pain. _This can’t be happening. He was just fine. Well, not fine but… better. And now…_ Harold started to fill up with resentment towards himself. _Maybe he should have died on the rooftop. At least it would have been what he wanted. No. Stop it, Harold, John needs you!_ He chastised his mind.

Maddie made her way out into the hallway, searching for Harold. She looked around and saw him sitting on the floor, legs propped up to his chest with his arms around his knees and his face buried into them. She walked over and sat down next to him. “So. He has fluid around his heart.” Maddie started, sparing them both the formalities. “It’s called a Cardiac Tamponade. It’s when a trauma to the heart causes the pericardium to fill with blood.” Harold lifted his head up slowly and turned to look at the doctor. “Causing chest pain, low blood pressure, and trouble breathing among other things… I performed a pericardiocentesis. Which is sticking a needle into his chest to remove most of the fluid It was successful, and I inserted a catheter into his chest so it can continue to drain for as long as it needs to…” Harold didn’t say anything, he was too emotionally exhausted. He just lifted his head and looked straight forward. His face was covered with brown and gray stubble now since he hadn’t left the hospital in a week, he couldn’t seem to care. “It looks promising right now… but I’m going to do an echocardiogram and a chest x-ray soon… if I don’t like what I see… I might have to open him up again.” Harold’s face remained stoic but it was a far cry from how he felt, he turned his head slowly to look back at the doctor,

“I need to see him please,” Harold said, rather than asked. He already started to get up before Maddie even had a chance to answer.

They made their way back into the ICU room. Harold didn’t think it was possible, but John somehow managed to look worse than he did an hour ago. Sitting down, Harold managed to grasp the ex op's hand in his, lifting his other hand up to fix John’s matted hair. John drew in a hitching breath, his eyes opened, filling with pain. Harold gave a reassuring smile, “I’m here.” John smiled and closed his eyes again.

Megan was setting up the echocardiogram machine, sticking the patches to his chest and pushing some buttons on the machine. “Still doing okay John?” She asked as she placed the last patch onto his chest. He nodded his head, eyes still closed and his hand still grasping onto Harold’s. Harold’s heart sank into his stomach when he laid his eyes on the scars across John’s upper body. As if the two almost foot long stapled scars on his chest and stomach from the surgeries weren’t enough, the obvious ones that were from the bullets scattered over his body were gut wrenching. Maddie came in and pulled up a stool to sit on next to the bed.

“Okay, so this is just like an ultrasound. We’re just looking at your heart. The gel is going to be cold, but other than that it won’t hurt at all.” She smiled at Harold, realizing John’s eyes were closed. She placed the wand on his chest, which made John’s breath hitch and he gave Harold’s hand a gentle squeeze at the coldness of the gel, “Sorry.” Maddie said, keeping her eyes on the monitor. She proceeded to look at the screen, saying things absently and to Megan that Harold could only semi-understand. Finally, she turned her attention to John and Harold. “I’m not going to have to open you up. Not yet anyway.” Harold swallowed the lump in his throat. “It’s draining well and there doesn’t seem to be any major damage, so you should be okay with just the catheter. As long as nothing puts any stress on your heart for a while.” She stood up and took off her sterile gloves. She realized that John wasn’t listening, nor did he care to hear about anything else that was wrong with him, “I’m going to give you something so you can sleep.”

“No.” John rasped out, finally opening his eyes.

“I’m sorry?” Maddie replied with disbelief. The man was probably in agonizing pain, and he’s refusing pain medication?

“No. I’m not tired.” His eyes turned dark, Megan nor Maddie had ever seen this side of John before… “But what I am is sick of getting shot up with mind numbing drugs, I’d rather deal with pain on my own. So just do what you have to do and leave me the hell alone.” He was clearly agitated, Harold squeezed his hand softly, just enough so John would know he was still there. John sighed and closed his eyes, his head falling back to the pillow. “I’m sorry…”

Megan and Maddie didn’t know what to say, so they cleaned up the rest of their supplies and double checked everything before they left to go out into the hallway. “Rest as much as you can John, please.” Megan turned and gave Harold a sympathetic smile.

“They’re the only reason you’re alive, you do realize that right?” Harold sighed, “Look at me.” Tension sputtered between them…

John sluggishly opened his eyes, turning his head slowly to look Harold in the eyes. “Did your machine ever think to ask me if I wanted to live.”

Harold’s mouth dropped open. “I…are… what?” He stuttered. “How could you ask that?” Harold was astonished at the fact that John just implied that he’d rather be dead.

“How can I not!?” John raised his voice in agitation. “I sure as hell don’t want to live like this! I can’t even get out of bed by myself Harold! I can barely sit up on my own!” John’s voice was cracking and the heart monitors were starting to show signs of distress. “I chose to go on that roof! I chose to die for you! To die doing something I knew was good and just! And now you expect me to be happy with the fact that your machine stole that away from me!? The one thing I’ve wanted since the day I watched my dad’s coffin lowered into the ground!” The heart monitor was screaming now along with John.

“Are you kidding me!? You survived! You lived! Something that a lot of people we know…knew… can’t say!” Harold stood up from his chair, “And you’re going to sit here and pout because you’re going to need help doing things for a couple months?!” He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down some, “I’ve known you for 5 years, John… and I would have never thought of you to be the selfish coward you’re being right now.”

John had started to grab his chest, grimacing in pain. “Oh no, don’t even think you’re getting out of this.” Harold protested until John’s eyes fluttered to the back of his head and the monitor started to scream louder and faster than it had been before. Harold ran over to John. “John!? John!? Wake up!” His eyes started to fill with tears, the lump in his throat returned and his chest was throbbing. Megan, Maddie and a hand full of nurses ran into the room. Suddenly unable to breathe, like he'd been kicked in the chest, Harold stumbled back until his spine slammed into the wall. He shook his head, choking back the scream that rose in his throat. _No. No, no, no! This can’t be happening_. The two doctors along with the rest of the nurses were in controlled chaos around John, shouting out orders for medication and injecting his IV with different syringes. After Maddie said something Harold couldn’t understand, they unhooked some of the machines and lifted John onto another gurney, rushing out into the hallway as they passed Harold before he could even grasp what was going on. He stood there for about a half a second until he threw himself towards the door and out of the room. “Megan!” he yelled, spotting the team rushing the gurney through two large white doors. She looked over to Harold, then back to Maddie who nodded at her to go back.

“Harold, it’s his heart. We’re going to do everything we can. But I have to go, we’ll update you as soon as we know anything.” She turned and ran back through the double doors that warned _Authorized Personnel Only_.

_We’ll do everything we can. No. That’s what they say right before people die._


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shaw, Fusco, and Bear are back! Oh and maybe Leon makes a tiny appearance ;) Comments and feedback are appreciated as always!

John had made it through surgery. Harold made his way into the ICU room with his tail tucked between his legs. John looked like he was asleep, with Maddie adjusting some of the wires and tubes he was hooked up to. Maddie showed him his pain pump button, “You know the drill. I’ll be in and out. Try to rest, your body’s exhausted.” And with that she walked out of the room, grasping Harold’s shoulder on the way out. _Here goes nothing_. Harold stood still in the doorway, not knowing whether John would want him to stay or go. He was counting on the latter. So, he almost choked out a cry when he heard,

“So are you just gonna stand there or what?” Barely a whisper, much quieter and raspier than John’s normal monotone crisp voice. Harold made his way over to his usual chair, moving it closer the bed. He refrained from grabbing the injured man’s hand, not knowing if John would approve at the moment or not.

Before Harold even realized it, he was rambling. “I’m so sorry.” He held back the tears. “I should have never snapped at you like that. I have no idea what you’re going through and I can’t even comprehend what you must be feeling.” He was stopped when John turned his head toward him and started to smile.

“Finch. Take a breath.” Harold opened his mouth to say something but no words came out, “I lost my cool. There’s no reason for you to apologize, you were right about everything.” A hitch of breath, an exhale… “If I ever start talking like that again, just slap me.” John’s face was pale, and his eyes were clouded over with exhaustion and pain.

“John, it’s okay. I understand.” Harold clutched onto his hand. “How are you feeling?” He could sense the younger man was in a tremendous amount of pain.

“Nothing I can’t handle.” John sighed.

“Is there anything I can do?” Harold desperately asked he couldn’t stand feeling so destitute.

“Talk to me,” John said as he closed his eyes.

“O-kay…” Harold tried to think of something to say. He debated on whether to tell John about his favorite book or play but instead, he began… “I was 6 years old when my mother passed away…” He heard himself blurt out, “She got sick.” Harold couldn’t believe he was telling this story, he had never told anyone about his mother before… not even Grace. “I was young and didn’t quite understand why she couldn’t run around with me anymore. My father did the best he could after she passed… but it’s difficult to take care of your son by yourself when you can’t remember where you left your car keys.” Harold smiled at the memory of his father. “He did the best he could. I wouldn’t be the man I am today without him…” Harold went on and on, talking about his childhood, his days at MIT with Nathan, the parts that he hadn’t already told John of course. He continued until John finally fell into a deep sleep.

#

Harold was helping John get dressed into some sweats and a t-shirt. After a week since his last surgery, it was time for some minor physical therapy. John was on a heart healthy diet, but Maddie had caved in and let Harold bring him a strawberry smoothie from the small cafeteria downstairs. Sitting on the side of the bed with his legs dangling down to the floor, sipping at his smoothie, he was waiting for Harold to pick out a t-shirt for him. “Harold. Just pick one.” John sighed, setting the cup down onto the bedside table. He had put on some weight, looking like a small resemblance of the former ex-op. But the scars all over his torso, the paleness of his usually tan skin and the wires and IV lines coming from his body were more than enough to remind both he and Harold that he was still a long way from where he was before the showdown with Samaritan.

Logan, Jack, and Joey still visited from time to time, but the machine was back online; something Harold had not told John about yet, so the three men were busy saving the numbers that had come up. So now the only visitors John got was Harold if you could even consider him a visitor since he never left… And the two good doctors… until today.

“Well, you look like shit.” Shaw chastised walking in through the door with Lionel by her side. “Never thought I’d see the day when Lionel here looked better than the man in the suit.”

“Nice to see you too Shaw,” John smirked. “Lionel.” John nodded his head to Fusco.

“Ms. Shaw? Detective?” Finch breathed out in disbelief. He knew that the two had survived the war with Samaritan, but he had no idea how they would have known that John survived.

“Yeah, your all seeing super creepy computer let us know that you and Wonderboy here were still tickin’.” Fusco went over to the couch that was placed by the large picture window in John’s room and sat down. “Oh and by the way, Detective John Riley died heroically in the line of duty a while ago, he will be greatly missed.” Reese gave Lionel a sideways look and went to ask him about it but decided not to, it wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t John Riley anymore, he was John Reese again and he got to spend the rest of his life, whatever was left of it anyways, with Harold.  
Shaw took a good look at John. The scars from the slugs gathered on his chest and the surgical incisions on his stomach, shoulder and his sternum making her normally hard eyes, turn soft. She walked over to him and placed a hand on his knee, “I’m glad you didn’t kick the bucket.” He smiled at her,

“Thanks, Shaw.”

“Alright, enough of this lovey dovey crap.” She snickered and went over to sit down next to Fusco on the couch. Finch finally decided on a t-shirt and grabbed it out of the small closet in John’s room. He chose the dark blue Seattle Seahawks shirt that he had gotten Reese for his birthday one year. He made his way over to John, and helped him pull the shirt over his head, and put his arms through it, put his sling back on and situated the wires and IV lines.

Reese decided to take everyone’s attention away from the fact that he couldn’t put on his shirt by himself, “Where’s my dog, Shaw?” 

“You’re dog? Oh no. no, no, no, we’ve been over this. Sure you didn’t take a bullet to the head?” She said tapping her finger on her forehead. “Bear is down in the car.” She said standing up from the couch.

“You left him in the car alone?” Finch spoke up, he had missed the dog over the past two weeks.

“No…” She started, “Leon’s in there with him Finch calm down.” She rolled her eyes and sighed.

“Leon…?” Finch asked with raised eyebrows.

“What? I needed someone who could do the techie things once the numbers started again.” She smirked. John glared at Finch when she mentioned the numbers… Harold had yet to tell John that the machine had managed to survive.

Megan walked in with another man in khakis and a blue polo shirt. “Morning John. Ready for…” She stopped when she noticed Fusco and Shaw were in the room. “Hi, I’m Dr. Tillman and you are…?”

“It’s okay Doctor, they’re… friends.” Harold spoke up when he noticed Megan was alarmed.

“That’s nice but John has physical therapy to do, so could you two go wait in the waiting room, or perhaps if you have something to occupy yourselves in the mean time? I’ll let you know when he’s finished.” She smiled politely at them.

“Sure, no problem doc,” Fusco said getting up from the sofa. “Let’s go Sameen.” He said noticing the look on Shaw’s face. After they left, Megan started to introduce the man in the khaki pants.

“This is Chris, he’s a friend of mine. He’s one of the best physical therapists in the state.” Megan smiled towards Chris, and he spoke up.

“She’s just being nice.” He laughed and reached his hand out to shake John’s, then Harold’s. “Megan’s informed me of your injuries John, and that you have a high pain tolerance, which is good because I won’t lie to you, what I’m going to put you through will not be fun.”

John smiled smugly, “When can we start.”

#

Harold couldn’t believe what they had John doing already during his session. He walked the farthest he had in the past two weeks. It was only about ten feet, but ten feet was like ten miles for someone in John’s condition. Combined with all the stretching and other small leg and arm strengthening exercises he had to do, John was worn-out. Harold had helped him into a wheelchair after they finished the session with no small effort on his own body, which was still not fully healed, “Let’s get you to bed, you’re probably tired.” Harold suggested.

“I’d like to see Bear,” John said, stifling a yawn. Harold looked up at Megan who gave John a disapproving look. “I haven’t been outside in weeks.”

“Do you know the damage a dog could do if he jumped on you right now?”

“John…” Harold started, “Maybe another time…”

John sighed… closing his eyes and his head fell in frustration. “Come on you two, give a guy break, I’ll be fine.”

“Fine.” Megan breathed out. “But I’m coming with you and you’re staying in the chair.” John’s face broke out into a broad smile from ear to ear.

#

“Finchy!” Leon yelled from the passenger seat of the Lexus.

“Mr. Tao.” Finch rolled his eyes at him and pushed John’s wheelchair toward the car. Megan oversaw the IV stand and wheeled it carefully beside them. Shaw walked over and opened the back door to the black Lexus, releasing Bear.

“Hey boy!” John’s face lit up, a smile plastered on his face that could light up a room. Bear jumped out and started to run over to his two masters, but halfway there the dog sensed something was wrong and slowly made his way carefully to check on his alpha. He sniffed his way up to John’s hand and licked his arm, John laughed and started to rub the dog between the ears. “I’ve missed you too buddy.” Harold stood back and watched him and their beloved dog, John looked truly happy for the first time in weeks, and he breathed a little easier.


	9. Chapter 9

After they stayed outside for a while, letting John take in some fresh air, both Harold and Megan noticed John’s eyes were starting to droop and that he was trying to hide the yawns that were sneaking out of his mouth. They wheeled him back up to his fifth-floor ICU room and Harold helped him into some pajama pants and a plain white t-shirt, getting ready for dinner and then bed. A nurse brought in his meal at the usual time of 5:30 and set it down on the table attached to his bed railing. He picked at the sandwich and salad, occasionally taking a small bite.

“Are you feeling alright?” Harold asked as he looked up from his laptop.

“Yeah, just tired.” He answered, and looked down at his uneaten food and set his fork onto the tray.

“John…” Harold started.

“When were you going to tell me that the machine survived Harold?” John interrupted and looked over at Finch.

Harold closed his laptop and turned his upper body stiffly to look at John. “I’m sorry… I should have told you. But I guess… I thought that if you didn’t know…” He trailed off. “Never mind… forget I said anything.”

“You figured if I didn’t know, I wouldn’t want to go back to helping them.” John finished Harold’s thought without effort.

“Precisely.” Harold breathed out. “I know it’s selfish and I know I told you that saving them was your purpose… but after this… I don’t know…” 

“Harold.” John interrupted. “They’re not my purpose… I mean yes they were… but now… I just want to be with you… you’re my purpose.”

#

Maddie walked into the ICU room to check up on John before physical therapy the next day. When she walked in, John was sleeping and she noticed that he looked… sick. Harold was sitting in his chair reading a book when he looked up and noticed Maddie coming into the room. He stood up and nodded to her to talk with him in the hallway. “He’s not feeling well today. He won’t say anything… but he hasn’t touched his breakfast and he looks terrible.” Harold sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

“Has he been complaining of any pain?” Maddie asked,

“Do you recall who we’re talking about here Dr. Enright?” Harold replied curtly. Maddie nodded her head,

“Let me go check on him.”

“What do you think it could be?” Harold asked before she turned around.

“It could be a lot of things, Harold. Although uncommon after a week, he could have an infection, maybe an abscess or it could be any number of other things.” Maddie started to smile at him, “Or he could just be tired. Don’t worry until we have to, okay?” She placed her hand on his shoulder and left to go back in the room to check on John. Harold followed and stood by and watched as she inspected her patient.

“Hey, John…” Maddie said pressing the button to lift up the bed. “How are you feeling today?” John groggily opened his eyes and looked at her.

“Fine.” He whispered, closing them again.

“John, Harold says you’re really not feeling well this morning and I need you to stay awake for me while I check a few things okay?” He opened his eyes again. She lifted the ear pieces of her stethoscope to her ears and checked his breathing. “Okay take a deep breath for me… again… again… and once more.” John did as he was told and felt a bit woozy by the time she was through. She lifted his shirt and started to press around his stomach area. She gently pushed her fingers down on the upper right part of his abdomen and he inhaled sharply and hissed in pain. “Some pain right there John?” She asked. John closed his eyes and nodded his head. She took his temperature and it showed that he had a slight fever. “Okay. We’re going to get you set up with an MRI to get a look inside your belly. It may be nothing… but just to be sure… and we’re going to put off therapy for today.” She straightened the blanket back over John.

Harold knew something was wrong as soon as John didn’t argue about postponing physical therapy.

 “I’ll be back soon to take you upstairs.” Maddie smiled to Harold and he followed her out into the hallway again.

“What is it?” He asked

“I’m not sure but I think it may be an abscess.” She frowned. “It could be on his liver. It’s not uncommon after such a trauma, and we’re in the correct timeframe for such an occurrence to take place. His symptoms don’t seem to be too far ahead of us so hopefully, we caught it in time to mitigate any real damage.” She looked at Harold, he was obviously upset and concerned. “He’ll be fine Harold.” She told him.

#

Megan and Maddie came back in with the news, Maddie was right, it was an abscess on his liver. Luckily they caught it before it got any larger and ruptured. “We’re going to start him on a strong antibiotic and that should be enough to take care of it. If not, we’ll have to go in and drain it laparoscopically.” Maddie said. “I’ll have them start you on something for the nausea too John.”

Megan spoke up when she saw Harold’s face turn pale at the suggestion of yet another surgery, “But we’re very optimistic the antibiotic will do its job.”  Harold smiled at her in thanks and turned his attention to John once they left.

“So, I’ve been looking at houses, for when we break you out of here.” Harold started. John smiled, realizing the man was more than worried and talking was his way to cope. Thankfully, listening was John’s.

“The Hamptons is a wonderful region. I have Ms. Shaw scoping out the area as we speak.”

John laughed, “Oh great, she’ll have a field day with this one.” He took a deep breath to calm the nausea that was creeping up in his stomach. “I can just hear her now…” John closed his eyes and started to breathe deeply, his attempts at keeping the urge to throw-up away were failing. 

Harold noticed his partner’s pale complexion and deep breathing and before he knew it, he grabbed a container that had been sitting on the sink and got it in front of John just in time. He retched and gagged until nothing was coming out anymore and he was dry-heaving. Finally, the attack stopped and Harold helped him relax back into bed. He rinsed the container out and went into the hallway to see the nurse arriving with the IV antibiotics and anti-nausea medicine. The nurse started both drips into John’s IV line and left the room. 

Harold helped John rinse his mouth out and take a drink of water. He wiped his forehead and face with a cool cloth, hoping to make John feel a little better. He sat back down in the chair and started to talk again.

“The house I rather liked is a quaint little two-story home with three bedrooms and two baths.” Harold started describing the place and John smiled through the dull pain in his stomach, “It has a stunning master bedroom with a private bath and full walk-in closet.” John smirked, knowing how many pocket squares Finch had and how he needed a lot of extra space. Harold went on and on about the houses he liked and the ones that he thought John would like. Once Harold finished talking about the houses, He noticed John didn’t look as pale or sick as he did earlier. “Feeling better?” Harold asked.

“I don’t feel like I’m gonna throw up anymore,”  John smirked.

“I may be able to sneak up another smoothie.” Harold chuckled and ran his hand through John's hair.

“You better hurry, Megan’s going to be back soon.” John laughed and Harold leaned down to kiss the ex-op, John 'hummed' against Harold's lips but didn’t stop. Finally, Harold pulled back,

“Strawberry or Vanilla?” Finch giggled.

“Surprise me,” John answered and settled back down into the bed.


	10. Chapter 10

Harold got to start taking John outside more. His abscess was gone, the antibiotics worked and he didn’t need another surgery. He didn’t need an IV anymore either, he could walk for longer periods of time and physical therapy was going well.

“Okay John, three more then we’re done,” Chris said as he started to wipe down the medicine balls and other equipment from John’s session.

“No, come on I can do more,” John answered back.

“John… we’ve been through this.” Chris knelt next to John who was sitting on one of the weight benches. “You push it too far and you risk permanent damage and or making things worse.” Chris patted him on the knee and got back up to finish putting the gear away. John sighed, he and Chris had been butting heads the past couple of days. John was frustrated with how slowly his recovery seemed to be taking. Well by John’s standards anyways. Harold usually had to remind him that a couple weeks ago, he couldn’t breathe on his own.

Megan took John back to his room. Expecting to see Harold in there waiting for him, it was Fusco. “Yeah, glasses went out to get some things. And before you get on my case, Shaw went with him so don’t go all protective man in the suit on me.” Reese got into bed, turned on the TV, and started flipping through the channels. “So, how ya feeling Wonder Boy?” Fusco asked, not able to stand the silence any longer.

“I’m Good Lionel, how are you doing?” Reese asked and turned off the TV. Lionel was stunned.

“Uhhh good. Guts still a little sore but I’ll live.”

“Yeah, Finch told me about that. I’m glad you’re okay detective.” Reese said grabbing something off the table next to his bed. “This is for you.” Reese held out an envelope with Fusco written on it. Lionel got up from the couch and grabbed the envelope with a sideways look on his face.

He opened it and didn’t realize what it was at first. “What…” Then it hit him that it was information to a bank account.

“It’s the account information to an account at Metropolitan Bank. You and Lee should be set for life. Finch and I had already had this planned out should anything happen to either or both of us… just thought now would be a good time to give it to you.” Fusco cleared his throat,

“I… Thank you.”

“No need for thanks, you’ve done plenty for us in the past Lionel.” Lionel smiled and put the envelope into his jacket pocket, he didn’t know what to say.

“Whatever drugs they have you on, you should consider taking them permanently.” John smiled and just then Harold walked in through the door.

“Hello, Detective.” Harold smiled to Fusco, noticing the awkwardness in the room, he had a questioned look on his face.

“I gave him the envelope,” Reese explained.

“Oh,” Harold replied.

“Yeah. Thanks, glasses,” Fusco started.

“Don’t mention it, detective. It is our pleasure.” Harold sat down in his chair. “Chris tells me the session went well.” Harold continued.

“Yeah, he needs to quit going so easy on me, I’m getting stronger by the day and I’m a little frustrated at the lack of progress.”

“Lack of progress?” Harold huffed. “John. How many times do we have to go over this.”

“Harold…” John sighed,

“Well, it looks like it’s time for me to go,” Fusco said standing up from the couch. “And I meant it… thanks, to both of you.” He smiled to Reese and Finch.

“You’re welcome Detective.” Harold smiled back. Fusco left the room and Harold went back to scolding John. “You need to go easy on Chris, John. He’s just trying to help you.” John opened his mouth to talk but Harold wouldn’t give him the chance. “You seem to forget that less than three weeks ago; you were lying in that bed with a machine breathing for you because you weren’t strong enough to do it on your own. So please stop saying that your recovery isn’t coming along.”

John sighed, “Sorry. I guess I’m just feeling a little restless here.”

Harold started to smile, “I think I have something that will cheer you up.” Harold pulled out two tickets from his jacket pocket. “The Seahawks come to New York in a month, I figured if you were better…” John started to laugh, “Detective Fusco picked out the tickets. I’m assuming by the price that third rows up at the fifty-yard line is good?”

#

“Morning John. Morning Harold.” Megan said walking through the door one morning. “How are we feeling John?”

“Just fine Megan.” John grinned at her, things were looking up.

“All right well I’m going to check a few things, then I have some good news.” Megan proceeded and quickly finished her assessment. “Okay, lunch should be in in a few,” She said as she started to walk out the door.

“Uhmmm?” Reese spoke up, reminding Megan of the “good news” she spoke of earlier.

“Oh, that’s right, the news.” She smiled. “How do you feel about getting out of here?”

“Are you serious?” John grinned. “When?”

“Well, we want to double check everything. MRI, Echo, EKG, and some other things. But if everything checks out and is good. I don’t see why you can’t leave by the end of this week. You’re getting around great, unless you have a major setback, things are looking good.” Megan looked to Harold who had a look of incredulity on his face. “I’m sure Harold here will be able to keep an eye on you.”

“You see Harold, I am getting better quicker than you thought,” John said smugly.

“Yes well, I knew it the whole time,” Harold said matter of factly and grinned to himself.

#

“Everything looks good John.” Megan and Maddie walked into the room the next morning.

“Your heart has made a remarkable recovery. You’ll still have some physical therapy along with a lot of check-ups due with us, but we’ve both agreed that you can go home.”

John sighed in relief and his mouth cracked into a smile. Harold too couldn’t contain the grin that sprang to his lips.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harold and John's first night in their house together.

**~~~~**John was leaving the hospital 1 month and 3 weeks after he first arrived. Harold packed up the small number of items he had brought to the hospital for both he and John and set to making sure that Sameen, Fusco, Logan, Jack, and Joey set up the house perfectly for John’s return. John was sitting on the bed, listening to Megan lecture him about taking it easy, even if he felt better.

“I mean it. You don’t get to ruin our hard work by being your stubborn self.” Megan ordered. John smiled,

“So… am I ready to go?” He smirked.

Megan’s eyes started to water, she fought back the tears of seeing John getting ready to leave. She looked to Harold who had a sympathetic smile on his face. “Promise you’re going to make him go easy?”

“You have my word, doctor.” Harold smiled and extended his arms for a hug. He closed his eyes and leaned to whisper into her ear emotionally, “Thank you.” He looked to Maddie and hugged her as well, also whispering a thank you to her.

She smiled back to him and wiped the tears that were forming at the corner of her eyes.

“What I don’t get a hug? I _am_ the one who survived a near death experience and all.” John smirked, and stood up with his arms outstretched to both Megan and Maddie. “Thank you, for saving my life.” After all the hugs and goodbyes to the two doctors, John wanted to just leave and avoid all the fuss, but Harold insisted on making a lap around the nurses’ station so that they could thank them all for their patience and hard work.    

“Next stop, the Hamptons.” Harold smiled and put the keys in the ignition in the car.

#

They pulled up to the house about an hour later. Harold had chosen a larger house than he originally thought he would have. Shaw had talked him into it, saying that he had the money so why not go all out, and he couldn’t argue her point. He chose a beautiful brown stone three story house on the water. Four bedrooms and three bathrooms. The master bedroom had a gorgeous view of the water. Included was an outdoor and indoor pool, a jacuzzi, and a two-car garage. Harold had arranged for all their belongings to be brought over. That included the matte black Ducati that he had bought for John and had the detective put in the garage with a giant red bow on it. Fusco was happy to oblige although he was a little nervous about driving “Wonder Boy’s” wheels. “You’ll do fine Lionel,” Harold had told him with a grin.

“Wow Harold…” John gasped as the car pulled to a stop in the large circular driveway that stretched around in front of the expansive front doors. The house looked like it came from a movie. It was the beginning of December now and the snow had been falling for about a week, and a small amount of fluffy white snow covered the ground.

Harold smiled at him and opened the door to get out of the car. He popped the trunk and grabbed some of his and John’s bags. John was careful and managed to cautiously lift himself out of the passenger seat and walked towards the door with Harold, who helped him up the steps… much to John’s dismay. Finch fished the keys out of his coat pocket and opened the door, revealing the huge entryway, and living room. The hardwood floors were dark brown and well-polished, the living room included two large brown plush couches and two recliners, along with a chair ottoman set sitting next to the fireplace and a huge bookcase. Fusco and Shaw emerged from what must have been the kitchen, Shaw with a slice of pizza in her hand and a mouthful, “Bout time you got here.” She said flopping down on the couch, throwing her feet up one of the end tables. “We ordered pizza on your card, by the way, Finch.”

Harold set the bags down and walked over to slap Shaw’s feet off the table. “Boundaries Ms. Shaw.” Harold reminded her.

Shaw rolled her eyes and out came Joey, Jack, and Logan from the kitchen as well, all carrying their own slices of pizza. “We unloaded everything and put all the stuff where you told us to Harold,” Logan said grabbing his coat. “We’d stay and all but sorry, duty calls.” He smirked and patted Harold on the back.

“Yeah, I have to go too.” Shaw added, “Keep an eye on my dog for me eh?” She whistled for Bear to come into the room, he ran straight for Harold and John.

“Will do Shaw.” Reese smiled and started to rub Bear’s belly.

All of them left, leaving John, Harold and Bear standing in the living room by themselves. John stared at the door with a solemn look,

“Something wrong John?” Harold asked walking over in front of him.

“No. I’m fine. Let’s check out the rest of the house.” John said as he leaned over to Harold and brushed a kiss against his cheek. Harold smiled and led John into the garage to show him his present. John was in awe of the gorgeous piece of machinery and his face showed it. Harold was almost moved to tears by his reaction, it was just what he wanted it to be.

#

Later that night, John and Harold sat on the couch snuggled up under a soft plush blanket. At first, Harold was very hesitant about being so close to John. He didn’t want to physically hurt him, but deep down he just wanted to sink into the ex-ops arms and never leave the warm embrace. After almost losing him a month ago, he was never taking a second with John for advantage again.

John still had pain in his collarbone from time to time. His pelvis also gave off a dull ache whenever he sat for a long time in one position or moved the wrong way. His stomach was the worst of them all, sitting up was still a challenge.

Once John assured Finch that he wasn’t hurting him, Harold got into a comfortable position snug up against John’s side with his head lying on Reese’s shoulder. His own wound had healed up nicely and caused him very little discomfort anymore. The snow was still falling outside and Harold had lit the fireplace earlier that night.

“So. Now, what?” John sighed, reaching over to grab his glass of water off the end table.

“Well… I suppose we could check on a movie to rent.” Harold said.

“No Harold.” John chuckled. “I meant for us. There are no more numbers, nobody for us to save. So, what are we supposed to do?”

Harold thought for a long moment. He had never thought this far ahead. He was always fairly certain he’d end up dead or in prison. He imagined John had the same feeling. “We can do whatever we want John.” Harold smiled. “No one’s trying to kill us. No one is chasing us. The numbers are being taken care of, we can actually live our own lives for once.”

John got a big cheeky smile on his face. “I love you.” He said and leaned down to meet Harold’s lips with his own. It was tender and sweet and they continued like that for half the night, their lips locked and the soft moans that escaped their mouths and the crackle of the fireplace being the only sounds in the room. It was true bliss and they both were satisfied with the activity until they nodded off, content with the way things were.

#

Harold woke up with his head pillowed on John’s chest. He sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes, trying to piece together what had happened through the sleepiness. He remembered he and John making out until eventually they had relaxed and settled down to watch a movie. Harold tried to stand up but his back had other thoughts. He took a deep breath and tried to stretch through the pain, he looked over to John who was still fast asleep. _Oh dear._ Harold thought. John would not be happy when he woke up, his hips would more than likely be on fire from being in that position for so long. Harold gently patted him on the shoulder,

“John.” He whispered. “John, come on wake up… let’s go to bed.” John groaned and his eyes fluttered open. His eyes softened at the sight of Harold but soon filled with pain as he tried to stand up. “Yes, I was afraid of that.” Harold sighed. John tried to stand up again but fell back down.

“Damnit.” John sighed and started to take deep breaths through his nose and out of his mouth. 

“One moment. I’ll be right back.” Harold got up and went to the bedroom, bringing back the heating pad that he used for his own back, neck, and hip pain. “Here…lean to your left.” Harold pressed it to one of John’s hips. John let out an immediate sigh of relief. With one hand holding the pad into place, Harold used his other hand to rub circles into John’s other hip, trying to loosen it up. After about ten minutes of sitting in silence while Harold rubbed one of John’s hips, he switched to the other hip and repeated the massage for another ten minutes.

“Okay, I think I can try again,” John said and Harold's brow furrowed, but he stood up and offered John a hand. John had to brace his forearm against the couch to push himself up and leaned heavily into Harold all the way to the door. They finally got themselves into bed and comfortable.

“I’m sorry I can’t be of more help.” Harold sighed taking off his glasses and setting them onto the bedside table. “Maybe we should consider hiring Chris to stay here full-time. Only temporarily of course.”

“Harold. You were a lot of help. You knew exactly what to do because you’ve been through this before yourself. I couldn’t ask for anyone else to help me through this.” He smiled and kissed the top of Harold’s head.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some very much needed domestic Harold and John ;) Including breakfast and a grocery store trip! Haha and an appearance by Darren McGrady!

The next morning, Harold was out cooking breakfast, waiting for Chris to arrive to continue John’s therapy. John was in the bedroom getting changed when Harold heard him yell. Harold dropped the plates on the counter and ran into the bedroom as fast as he could. “What’s wrong?!” He huffed, out of breath.

John was standing with his back to him on a scale. “180! Only 15 more pounds until I’m back to where I was before the accident!” John grinned and gingerly threw his shirt over his head.  “Why are you out of breath?” John asked looking at Harold, “Oh… shit, sorry Finch… I wasn’t thinking.”

“No harm done John. I’m ecstatic as well.” Harold smiled and returned to the kitchen to continue with the meal. “Breakfast is almost ready.” He said to John when he too entered the kitchen.

John went to the refrigerator and grabbed the container of orange juice. “What’s on the menu?” He asked as he poured his glass.

“Egg whites, toast, and blueberry oatmeal.” Harold smiled as he grabbed the newly popped whole grain toast out of the toaster.

“Oh yes… the heart-healthy way to start your day.” John joked, sitting down at the table. “What are we doing today Harold?”

“Well… I have to go to the grocery store.” Harold put the egg whites and toast on a plate and set it down in front of John. “If you feel up to it, you’re welcome to accompany me.” He slid the bowl of oatmeal in front of him as well. “Therapy might wear you out, though.”

“I think I’ll be fine Harold,” John said, picking through the oatmeal. Harold sat down at the table with his plate as well. Only his had bacon, eggs, and hash browns on it. “Oh, that’s just not fair.” Reese frowned looking at Harold’s plate.

“Oh stop. You only have to eat like this until your next check-up.” Harold said unfolding the newspaper. Bear lay on his new doggie bed in the corner of the huge kitchen snoring away.

They sat in quiet for a while, only the sound of forks hitting their plates. Harold had the paper in front of his face, only occasionally taking a sip of his tea. John decided to take the opportunity to reach over and grab a piece of bacon. He slowly moved his arm over to Harold’s side of the table and lifted his hand above the plate. Harold folded the corner of his paper down, giving John a raised eyebrow. “Really…”  

John just gave an innocent smile,

“Some ex-spy you are.”

#

Harold busied himself with little chores around the house while Chris and John went into the room that was originally an office that Harold had converted into a spot for John’s therapy to take place. After he had scrubbed every last inch of the counter, he fed and made sure there was clean water Bear, tossed his chew toy for him a few times and washed the dishes from breakfast twice… ignoring the dishwasher just three steps away; he sat down at the table and opened his laptop. After about ten minutes of aimlessly searching the internet for Christmas presents, he heard the door to the office open. Chris emerged moments later, duffle bag in his hand and a towel thrown over his shoulder.

“That’s it for today.” Chris walked over to Harold at the table.

“Everything go all right?” Harold asked noticing the look of mild concern on Chris’ face and the fact that John had yet to join them.

“He’s restless Harold. Get him out of the house today.” Harold smiled and gave Chris a donut and a cup of coffee for the road. “See you in a couple days.” He said walking out the door.

Harold made his way back to the office/workout room. John was sitting in one of the chairs staring out of the window. Finch made his way over to the back of the chair,

“Bird watching? I told you that you’d start to like it.”

“It’s December Finch,” John replied, not taking his eyes off the view. “There are no birds.”

“What’s the matter?” Harold asked when he sat beside him on the arm of the chair.

“Nothing it’s just…” Reese started.

“Just what?” Harold pushed…

“Last night, when the guys and Shaw left, I just… I don’t know. Got nostalgic, that’s all.” John sighed and his head fell to the back of the chair. “I just need time, that’s all.”

“Did you expect me to believe you could go from world-saving vigilante to Hampton’s house husband all in one day John?” Harold laughed. “It’s going to take us both time to get used to, I understand that.” He leaned down suddenly to press their mouths together. John met him halfway, turning Harold’s desperate lunge into something graceful, as always. Harold pulled back, “Now how about that grocery store adventure?” He chuckled and stood up.

“Let me shower first.” John laughed and headed toward the master bathroom.

“Do you require any assistance?” Harold asked shyly, turning slightly pink.

“You know, I might be able to use an extra hand,” John answered grinning.

The shower took a little bit longer than usual but was well worth the extra time and effort.

#

Harold was pushing the cart through the supermarket with John falling in next to his side. John’s limp was almost identical to Harold’s and they both got a chuckle at it, his was less pronounced, though. John was looking through the bananas, checking for the ones with just the right amount of green and no brown spots whatsoever. Harold was funny about it, he wouldn’t go near them if they even had a hint of brown on them. He found the perfect ones and brought them back to put them in the cart.

Harold was getting a carton of milk and set it into the cart as well. They were walking down the chip aisle when someone called John’s name. “Reese?”

John and Harold turned around to see Darren McGrady. “Darren?” Reese huffed out in surprise.

“How have you been man?” Darren laughed and walked over to shake John’s hand.

“Good, how about yourself? You’ve sure grown up.” John said noticing how much more mature Darren looked. He wasn’t the same 13-year-old that John once chased around half the city.

“Yeah, I graduate in the Spring. Got a full-ride to Julliard.” Darren smiled. “All thanks to you.”

John’s face lit up. He didn’t know what to say. Harold noticed that John started to look… uncomfortable. So, he nudged his arm. “Oh yes. Darren this is Harold.” John said, snapping out of his daze.

“Tech support I’m guessing?” Darren laughed and shook Harold’s hand.

“Yes. I suppose John never came up with a good name for what it was we did.” Harold laughed. “It’s good to see you’re doing so well Darren.”

“Yeah well I owe it all to you guys.” He smiled again and checked his phone after it beeped, “Well I have to go. The girlfriend is looking for me.” He laughed along with John and Harold. “It was good to see you, Reese… you too Harold… and thank you.” Darren left, leaving Harold and John to stand there just looking at each other.

They started to shop again, looking for all the things on Harold’s list. John tossed in some strawberries and a cluster of other fruits. Harold looked at him with interest.

“Smoothies.” He said with a grin.

Harold smiled back, “I’m looking forward to trying one.” Harold replied.

They finished up the list and headed back. “We’re going _home_ John, _our_ home and I couldn’t be happier,” Harold stated. John looked at his partner and beamed with contentment.

#

Later that night, Harold and John ate dinner and found themselves settled on the couch again. Bear laid at their feet on one of his new comforpedic dog beds that John said he needed.

They had found that one of Harold’s favorite old TV shows, _Cheers_ , was on late nights on one of the channel’s that showed old television classics, it was great. They cuddled quietly on the couch with John’s head resting against Harold’s shoulder. After a couple of episodes, they decided to go to bed. John was exhausted and rightfully so.

#

Harold had been with John when he had gone through nightmares before. On good nights, John would toss and turn and occasionally he’d yell _No_ or _Stop_. On bad nights, it was _Mark_ or _Kara_ followed by _please_ or _I’m sorry_. One awful night, about a month after Carter died… Harold woke up to John screaming, _Joss_. He jerked awake and immediately started to sob. Harold held him as he cried himself back to sleep.

But tonight was different. This was the first one since Samaritan had been eliminated. It was also the first-time Harold had heard John gasp _his_ name.

#

_“But what I couldn’t have anticipated… was that you would become… such a good friend…” Harold choked out and held back the tears as best he could._

_“You won’t make it off that rooftop alone…” John answered back._

_“I don’t intend to… I’m afraid this is where our partnership ends… Good Bye John.” Harold told him as he turned around and started limping away… and out of John’s life forever._

_“Finch wait… Harold… wait… Finch… HAROLD!!”_

#

“Harold! Wait! Please!” John screamed, thrashing in his sleep.

“John.” Harold put his hand on the ex-op’s shoulder tenderly, “John wake up. I’m here. It’s me.” John’s eyes snapped open and recognition sparked in his bright blue iris’. “There you are.” Harold smiled.

“H…Harold.” John sighed in relief and closed his eyes. “Sorry… I… bad dream.” He stumbled over the words.

“I assumed as much.” Harold sighed and sunk down in next to John and hugged him close. “Do you want to talk about it?” Harold rested his forehead on John’s back. After John was silent for a moment, “It’s okay, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Harold said, in that soothing tone of his, and John relaxed a fraction.

John managed to roll over onto his side carefully, breathing through the pain in his hips, shoulder, and stomach. “We were in the vault.” Harold's hand wrapped around the back of John’s neck, holding on gently. John realized his own hands were clenched in the fabric of Harold's shirt, clinging helplessly. “You left me.” John tucked is face into the soft silk of Harold’s pajama shirt. “I couldn’t stop you.” John felt the tears start to fall. “Don’t… just please don’t leave.” He could hear Harold's heartbeat just under his skin, much faster at rest than John's own, but steady.

Harold felt extremely unhappy. For the first time in months, he didn’t know what to say. John had sacrificed himself for Harold and the others so many times… Harold _knew_ what it felt like to watch the person you love take a bullet for you. He _knew_ what it felt like to watch someone walk away from you just so you wouldn’t get hurt. He had never realized it before now… but when he walked away from John in the vault, that’s how he must have felt. How could he have done that to John? His throat was dry and his eyes stung from unshed tears. “Oh, John…” He said and sounded incredibly… sad. “I’m so sorry.” John whimpered against Harold’s chest. “I promise I will never leave you again.” Harold moved his hand down to lift John’s chin up to look at him, “But you must promise me the same thing.”

John smiled through the tears, “I promise.” and he kissed Harold. It was the easiest thing in the world. It was gentle and quiet, and Harold would die before John was taken from him again.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Little bit of a downer chapter. But I felt like I needed to be realistic of John's injuries. Also, I promise it's going to be nothing but sunshine and rainbows from here on out...well mostly ;)

John had a check-up three days later. On their way, he asked about the hospital.

“So, I never asked… but I noticed I was the only one in the ICU the whole time we were there.”

“Once again, I can see why the CIA recruited you.” Harold joked, not taking his eyes off the road. John laughed and they sat in silence for a moment. “When Mr. Pierce brought me to the hospital, I asked where we were and he said it was called Dashwood memorial hospital…” John’s brow furrowed, “and that an anonymous donor had it built in 2012.”

John looked out the window for a moment, “That’s right after we started working together.”

“Yes…” Harold continued. “I can only assume that the machine had it built assuming that we would need it for a situation like this someday.”

“So, the machine built a whole hospital, staffed it and everything… just in case I got hurt.” John scoffed.

“No. I believe it made preparations for a situation that if you were ever in such a desperate state that you needed an ICU, doctors, nurses, and around the clock care...” Harold took his eyes off the road for a second to glance at John then put them back to the front, “that you would have it. I trust Dr.’s Enright and Tillman were just an added bonus… along with Mr. Pierce, Salazar and Durbin. I asked one of the nurses how many patients they receive on average… and she said that most of them are just patients with the flu, a broken bone here and there, and minor injuries. The ICU floor is hardly ever used.”

“Oh,” John said. “And… Dashwood Memorial is for…” John continued as he looked at Harold, he knew his real last name was Dashwood… but never called him it. Harold had always taken to Finch, and if John was, to be honest, he liked that better too.

“My father, John. Didn’t you notice the big plaque on the wall congratulating the hospital on the Alzheimer’s research it has been doing?”

“Oh.” Was all John said. Harold never mentioned his father. Too hard to talk about John had assumed.

John had lost his father at a young age. _No boy should have to grow up without a father._ Is what he always heard people say when they found out. But Harold’s case was different… He had to watch his own father disappear right in front of his eyes until he didn’t even know who Harold was anymore.

“We’re here.” Harold smiled and pulled into a parking spot close to the front entrance.

They made their way up to the 3rd floor where Megan and Maddie would be waiting for them. One of the nurses that they hadn’t met before led them into a small exam room. “Hi my name is Alexa, please wait in here. The doctors will be in soon, so make yourselves comfortable.” She turned and gave a flirtatious smile to Harold, “Is there anything I can get for you, Mr. Finch?”

“No, no I think we’re fine, thank you.” He smiled back to her as she made her way out the door.

Harold turned around to see John sitting on the exam table with his eyebrows raised and he was batting his eyelashes, “Well, well, well Mr. Finch. Looks like someone has a crush on you.”

Harold’s face turned red and he smirked at John, “Is someone jealous he’s not the only one getting the batty eyed looks and winks thrown his way?”

Just then Megan and Maddie walked into the room. “Morning Harold, morning John.”

“Good morning Dr.’s,” Harold answered in a cheerful tone. Both of the doctors smiled to Harold.

“Well John, we’ve got a full body scan, an echo, and a pulmonary function test all on the calendar for today. And we’re going to assess the range of motion on your arm and leg.”

“Shouldn’t take long eh?” John scoffed and lifted himself up with a grimace, “Let’s get started then.” John proceeded to endure the various tests the doctors had ordered, impatiently was putting it nicely.

#

“This is what I was afraid of,” Maddie said looking over one of John’s scans.

“What is it?” Megan slid her wheeled chair over to look at the screen.

“The muscles around his hip, you see?” Maddie ran her fingers over the screen. Megan took a closer look... when she noticed she sighed. “He could be looking at permanent damage.”

#

Another nurse wheeled John back into the assessment room where Harold was waiting for him. “They’ll be in as soon as they look at your scan. Then Dr. Enright will do your Echo so you can lie back on the table if you want.”

“Okay, thank you.” John smiled. Harold helped him up onto the table and he managed to lie down, the sound of the sterile paper crunching whenever he moved. After about 10 minutes, Maddie came into the room.

“All right, shirt off please.” She grabbed a stool and slid it next to the exam table. John sat up with a groan and Harold stepped up to help him slide his shirt over his shoulders while Maddie set up the materials for his Echo. She stuck the patches to his chest, “Okay can you lean to the side for me?” John rolled over carefully.

After Maddie was finished with the test, she got up and discarded the sterile gloves she had been wearing. “I’ll be back with Megan and then we’ll go over your results.” She gave half a smile and then walked out of the room. And the lump that was in Harold’s throat for the whole month John was in the hospital, returned…

#

Both doctors returned to the room, Megan sat down in a chair next to Harold and Maddie took a seat next to John on the table. “Well. You’re making remarkable progress John… your arm is healing wonderfully, as well as your stomach, and leg.”

“What about my hips?” John asked without missing a beat. “And my shoulder?”

“Well…” Maddie started, “that’s where it gets tricky.” She got up and walked over to the display board, inserted John’s scans into place and turned on the light. “You see, the muscles right here haven’t healed correctly yet…” She pointed to the spot on the scan that showed John’s pelvis area. “Unlike your arm…” She turned the light on to another set of scans. “You can tell right here that they are starting to heal the right way…”

“And…” John started, “how long will it take for the hip muscles to heal correctly?”

“We don’t know if they ever will John,” Megan interjected. “They should have started by now.”

“What happens if they don’t?” Harold asked as he cleared his throat.

Both Megan and Maddie looked at each other. Not wanting to tell them.

“Just tell us.” John sighed.

“Permanent damage… chronic pain… things like walking could continue to be painful…running would not be possible.” Maddie said looking at John.

“And with the way your shoulder is right now, and by how it looks on the scan, you may never get full-range of motion back,”  Megan added to the bad news.

John just sat there, not really comprehending what they said. He knew better than to get his hopes up at a full recovery. He was lucky to be alive… let alone be the same man he was before he was ripped apart by shrapnel.

Harold knew the look on John’s face all too well. It was the same exact look he got when he was told he’d walk with a limp the rest of his life and never be able to jog again. The look he got when they told him his neck was going to be fused to his spine and he wouldn’t be able to turn it normally ever again.

The silence was threatening to strangle all four of them, so Harold spoke up. “Physical therapy won’t help? And what about him getting tired so easily? Is that his heart?”

“It will help with things like being able to walk without a limp, and help some with his arm. There are specific exercises to improve motion… but I’m afraid his pelvis is more than likely not going to improve much past being able to walk medium distances without significant pain... and with the damage that was done to your heart and lungs…you’re going to have to build up your lung capacity again.” Maddie sighed. Everyone in the room was distraught. The doctors excused themselves and made arrangements for John’s next checkup.

The men didn’t really know what to say to each other, the news was not what they had hoped; so, they headed out to the car in dejected silence.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I guess this chapter has a little bit of everything in it. 
> 
> Next chapter may have some smut in it ;)

Later that afternoon, Harold and John got back to the house. The ride home was pretty quiet… except for the occasional curse from Harold in road rage. John just sat and stared out the window the whole ride home, not offering anything in conversation. 

Bear ran up to both his masters as soon as Harold opened the front door. He rubbed up against Harold first, then moved to John.

“I’m tired… I’m going to go lay down…” John sighed as he nudged Bear away. “Wake me up for dinner I guess.” He disappeared down the dark hallway and into the master bedroom. Harold heard the door shut, and he turned to Bear who was whining.

“I know. He’s just got a lot on his mind.” Harold sighed and got out his phone.

#

Harold made his way down the hall and into the bedroom later that day. He opened the door to see John lying on the bed on his back, staring at the ceiling.

“I thought you were going to take a nap,” Harold said coming over to sit down on the side of the bed.

“Couldn’t sleep.” John sighed, not taking his eyes off the ceiling.

“Oh.” Harold patted John on the leg. “Detective Fusco is coming over. I believe you two are going to go shoot out back at the range.”

John rolled his eyes and looked at Harold, “I’m not really in the mood.”

“John Reese not in the mood to shoot lead projectiles at inanimate objects?” Harold scoffed. John just sighed and shut his eyes. “John… come on. You’ll have fun.” Harold leaned down to brush a kiss to John’s forehead. “If you don’t go… I’m giving the Ducati to Ms. Shaw.”

John’s eyes opened and his face turned into a scowl, “Fine.”

#

“Hey glasses, you sure he can shoot? I mean he’s still hurt ain’t he?” Fusco said sitting at the table as he and Harold waited for John to get ready.

“He should be fine detective. As long as you keep it short and he only uses the pistols.” Harold started, “And do not… I mean _do not_ let him do anything stupid.”

“Do you really think I’ll be able to tell Wonderboy what he can and can’t do?” Fusco scoffed and took a sip of his water. John walked out into the kitchen and stood in the doorway. “Hey, John,” Fusco said with a smile.

“Lionel,” Reese nodded. “You want to come help me get the guns out of my safe?” Harold’s brow wrinkled.  “Relax Finch. Just taking four pistols.” John sighed without looking at Harold.

“You bet.” Lionel got up and followed Reese into one of the spare bedrooms.

#

When Harold was picking out which house he wanted, one of the deciding factors was that this one came with 20 acres of extra land behind it, including a shooting range.

John and Fusco had bundled up, it was by far one of New York’s coldest days, but it wasn’t very warm either. Fusco drove the ranger that Harold had bought to travel out to the gun range, casually sparking conversation with Reese. “So, Lee’s hockey team is undefeated. He’s the left wing...” Fusco trailed off after he realized he started to ramble.

After a few minutes, Reese started to talk, “I was right wing when I was in pee-wee.” Fusco held back the instinct for his jaw to drop. “I was always better at basketball, though.”

Fusco started to smile and laughed as he pulled up to the range, “Yeah makes sense, tall pretty boys usually wimp out and play basketball instead of hockey.”

Reese smiled as he got up out of the ranger, “Careful Lionel, my aim may not be what it used to be.” They passed the time doing something together that they both enjoyed doing and it was actually …. nice.  

#

“I trust you two had a good time?” Harold asked when Fusco and John came in about an hour and a half later.

“Yes, it was fun. Thanks, Lionel.” Reese made his way back to the spare room to put the guns away.

“Well…?” Harold whispered.

“He didn’t say much glasses. But he can still shoot the hair off a gnat’s ass.” Fusco whispered back with a chuckle.

“Well, what did you talk about?”

“Sports, shooting… I don’t know… a bunch of random stuff.” Fusco paused. “Listen glasses… for someone like him… this is a major blow. I’ve seen it on the force plenty. Guys get hurt and can’t go back to work or can’t do the things they used to and they just feel like nothing matters anymore. Or they feel like something’s been taken from them. Just talk to him… maybe you can find out what’s going on in his head.”

“I suppose.” Finch sighed. “Thank you very much, detective. Would you like to stay for dinner? I’ve ordered pizza.”

“No, I’ve got to go get Lee from his moms, thanks, though. Tell Wonderboy if he ever wants to do this again… my phone's always on.” Fusco smiled and made his way out the door.

#

They ate their pizza in silence, only the sound of their chewing and Bear’s when John would toss him a slice. Harold got up and washed his hands. After he was done he went over and placed his hands on John’s shoulders, he immediately felt the knots placed close to his neck. He didn’t say anything and the silence stretched out even longer. John let out a deep sigh that turned into a sob. Harold wrapped his arms around John’s chest.

“What’s wrong?” Harold asked.

“I just… I don’t know. I’m sorry, I don’t know why I was expecting better news… I’m not stupid, I knew what was coming… just didn’t want to accept it.”

“Don’t apologize.” Harold scoffed. “I completely understand.” Harold paused for a moment and then continued… “I understand all too well John.”

John suddenly realized that he was right. Harold knew exactly what he was going through. He was even worse off than John. He would never walk without a limp again. He’d never be able to turn his neck properly again. And it had never hit John before… that Harold knew exactly what it felt like to be told you’d never again be the same person you once were. He had gotten so used to Harold’s injuries, that he didn’t even really notice them anymore…

“Oh my God. I’m such an idiot.” He sobbed out a breath and looked up at Harold.

“Why?”

“Because here I am whining and you’ve been through this before yourself. Even worse than me… and you never complain.”

“Hmmph.” Harold huffed. John just looked at him. “I laid in the hospital bed for almost two weeks feeling sorry for myself John… I refused to get up and walk. I refused to do anything really. Which is one of the reasons for the limp.” A sigh had been knotting and building up in Harold's throat, so he closed his eyes and let it break free, a long gravelly drag from his lungs. “You’re handling this infinitely better than I did.” He said as emotion spilled into his words.

“No. Don’t put yourself down like that. You lost your best friend and the women you loved in a matter of minutes. You didn’t have anyone Harold.” John smiled, “But I have you.”

“We’ll get through this.” Harold kissed the top of John’s head. “How about we go look at the neighborhood’s Christmas lights?”

The slope of John’s shoulders relaxed completely. “Sounds like fun. I think Bear wants to come too.” John said noticing the dog lying by their feet. The dog wagged his tail excitedly then went and got his leash and came back holding it his mouth, and sat patiently waiting to go.

#

The Seahawks vs Jets game was fun. Harold and John had decided that the stairs and the cold would probably be too much of a hassle for them both, so Harold bought a suite for them. John was on a much less strict diet, which meant he could order almost whatever he wanted.

The Seahawks destroyed the Jets, making the game that much better.

#

Harold needed to go to town. They needed some groceries and he wanted to get a couple more things for Christmas dinner. Fusco, Shaw, Leon, Logan, Jack, Joey and Pia and Megan and Chris were coming for dinner. John and Harold had realized that Chris and Megan were, in fact, an “item” about three days ago.

Chris was at the house with John for a therapy session. He had promised Harold he’d stay there until he got back, Harold still didn’t feel comfortable leaving John alone. If he were honest, he probably never would.

When Harold’s phone rang, his heart dropped into his stomach. “Yes?”

“ _Harold, it’s Chris_.”

#

Harold ran every stop sign and stop light to get back to the house. When he saw Megan’s car in the driveway, he slammed the car into park and ran out into the house as fast as he could.

When he entered the house, he saw Chris and Bear sitting in the kitchen, sharing a turkey sandwich.

“Wh…what happened? Is John okay?” Harold puffed, out of breath.

“Harold, he’s in the bedroom with Megan…” Chris started but didn’t get to finish because Harold was already limping down the hallway into the master bedroom. He opened the door to see John lying in their bed covered up with their dark burgundy comforter with his eyes closed. Megan was attaching a blood pressure cuff around his bicep.

“What happened?”

Megan turned around to look at Harold and put her finger up to her lips in a shushing motion. “I’ll be right out. Go wait for me in the kitchen.” She whispered back.

Harold made his way out into the kitchen. Chris and Bear were finishing their sandwich, “He pushed himself too hard. I told him to slow down, I had to use the bathroom and when I came back not even 3 minutes later he was on the ground wheezing.” Chris got up to get a glass of water.

“Isn’t your job to keep him from doing that?” Harold shot back angrily.

“I take full responsibility, Harold. I’m sorry… I’ll understand if you want to go with someone new.” Chris’ eyes were full of regret. Megan walked into the kitchen before Harold had a chance to answer.

“He’s fine. Just went too far, too fast. His BP is a little high but I’m going to leave some medicine to take care of that. No fever, no signs of arrhythmia, and his breathing has evened out.” Harold let out a sigh of relief. “He needs to stay in bed for at least tonight, if not tomorrow.” Megan patted Harold on the shoulder. “He’s going to be okay Harold. He’s just stubborn... other than this little incident, he’s progressed very well since his last check-up by what Chris tells me and by what I’ve seen in my initial exam.” She went over the directions of the medication she left and told Harold a couple of other details to follow. She smiled, “I’ll see you in a week for his check-up.” She smiled to Chris and walked out the door. Then she turned back towards Harold suddenly and said, “Merry Christmas Harold and Happy New Year to you both,” then went outside.

“I apologize for snapping at you Chris,” Harold said.

“No, you don’t have to…” Chris began,

“Yes, I do.” Harold interrupted. “You’ve been nothing but helpful for John. You’ve dealt with his hardheaded self and you’ve taken all his backlash. I can’t thank you enough.” Harold smiled. “I’m going to go sit with him, I’m sure you have better places you need to be.” Harold waved to Megan who was still sitting in her car in the driveway and she smiled and waved back in reply.

Chris smirked, “Thanks, Harold. I’ll see you in a few days. Tell John I said he’d better get his ass up and better for our next session. I wait for no man.” Harold laughed and made his way towards the master bedroom.

#

John woke up with a fuzzy recollection of what had happened. He ran his palms over the 1200 thread count sheets and felt the down comforter he was surrounded by. He opened his eyes to see Harold sitting in his computer chair at the desk in their room. He heard the faint clicking of the keyboard keys that indicated to him that Harold was coding. John cleared his throat,

“Just a moment…” Harold said. He finished what he was working on and made his way over to the king size bed. He sat down on the edge, “Welcome back.” Harold smiled.

“How long have I been sleeping?” John asked with a couple of blinks, trying to clear the fogginess.

“Just a few hours. It’s about 7pm.” Another blink, the fogginess was fading; a spark of recognition glimmered in John’s eyes. “I suppose I should wait until you’re more awake before I lecture you on pushing your body too far.”

“Oh,” John whispered. “Sorry…” was all he said.

“Don’t worry. Dr. Tillman has ordered bedrest for the next day or two. I believe that will be punishment enough.” Harold's eyes were soft and attentive and at that precise moment, John wanted to kiss him. Harold would meet him there, he knew; Harold was always there.

John smiled and patted the bed beside him. “It’s pretty comfy in here Finch.”

Harold smirked, “Oh I can imagine.” Harold stripped down to his boxer shorts and undershirt. He slid into bed and under the comforter and snuggled close to John. “Feel okay?” Harold whispered against John’s chest.

“Just fine.” John smiled and leaned down to kiss the reclusive enigmatic man that he desperately loved. He cradled Harold’s head in one large, warm hand, allowing Harold to relax further into their kiss.

“You have to rest.” Harold murmured against John’s lips with a smile.

“I’m fine,” John whispered back. “I think this is just what the doctor ordered… you're the medicine I need.”

Harold closed his eyes and sighed, “Oh that’s right. Dr. Tillman left you some medicine for your blood pressure.” Harold rolled over and checked the alarm clock on the bedside table. “And it’s time for you to take them. I’ll be right back.” 

John sighed and slumped back down into the pillows.

Harold brought the medicine back along with a glass of water. John swallowed down the pills with a swig of water. “Okay, now get back over here.” John smiled.

Harold made his way back over to the bed and snuggled down into the blankets again. John turned on his side and kissed him again, this time Harold met him in urgency, pulling at John's shoulders until he fairly melted against Harold's lips, his chest pressing against Harold's. John pulled back, wincing in pain when Harold accidently tugged his bad shoulder too hard.

“I’m so sorry…” Harold’s head dropped in concern and he sighed as he ran his trembling fingers through John’s hair.

Reese just smiled through the pain, “Slow and steady wins the race, Harold.”

“Yes, of course, John, slow and steady we can do.” Harold once again brought their mouths together and they intimately explored each other’s bodies for a long while until they drifted off into an easy slumber.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluff with a tad bit of smut

John woke up to the warm glow of the sun shining through the master bedroom’s window. He rolled over on his side, expecting Finch to be lying next to him but he wasn’t. His side of the bed was made like it always was in the morning whenever he would wake up before John. John rolled over and went to get out of bed but quickly thought better of it when his whole body was sore. Bear was laying at the end of the bed, he stared up at John and whined, “Oh be quiet. You’re no young pup anymore either.” John managed to lift himself up out of bed with a groan, slid on his moccasins and made his way out into the Livingroom.

He walked into the Livingroom and saw Shaw and Fusco carrying a Christmas tree into the house. Harold followed them in, “Ahh you’re up. Good afternoon John.” Harold laughed as he looked at his watch. 

John hadn’t even bothered to check the time, when he looked up at the clock he saw that it was noon. “I guess I was tired, it was a long night.” Reese teased and sat down at the bar in the kitchen. “So, I take it we’re putting up a Christmas tree?”

“Why yes, I figured that if we were going to have dinner here next week, that we ought to have a tree,” Harold replied with a smile. “Mr. Durbin, Pierce and Salazar have also volunteered to come over later today and put up some Christmas lights.”

“I can put up Christmas lights Finch.” John sighed.

“Well then maybe you can help them.” Harold smiled at him and showed Fusco and Shaw where to put the tree. “Yes, right there, perfect.”

Shaw grabbed one of Bears tennis balls, “Morning sleeping beauty.” She laughed at John as she made her way outside with Bear.

“Thank you, detective, I think that should be all.” Finch smiled, “Would you like to stick around and help with the ornaments?”

“Yeah sure, why not.” Fusco smiled.

The rest of the day was spent hanging ornaments from the tree, joking and laughing. Even Shaw helped put up an ornament or two.

Jack, Logan, and Joey showed up later in the afternoon. Harold had purchased some Christmas lights on his last shopping trip. He didn’t buy a lot, but it was just enough to compliment the house perfectly.

Jack and John were taking a break from putting up the lights and drinking some of the hot chocolate that Harold had made for them before they went back out to help Logan and Joey. They were alone in the kitchen; sitting at the bar, “Hey… I never said thank you…” Jack started,

Reese smiled, “What for?”

“For giving me the advice about Langley.” Jack smirked, “They came up to me about a year and a half after I joined the SEALS… a guy named Beal.” John scowled at the mention of his old boss. “I told them no thanks. Well turns out they don’t take no for an answer.”

John frowned, “I’m sorry Jack… I just…”

“No… don’t apologize… you were trying to help. Logan showed up a couple days later saying that my life was in danger and I needed to come with him.” Jack smiled, “I didn’t believe him and I thought he was crazy until he mentioned you… So, I went… and here we are… I can’t imagine where I’d be if I had said yes… or if Logan hadn’t shown up… probably be dead by now, so…. Thank you, John.”

John smiled again and patted Jack on the shoulder, “You’re welcome.”

#

John had a check-up on the day before Christmas Eve. Harold had insisted on pushing it back until after the New Year so that Megan and Maddie could spend some time with their family and friends, but they wouldn’t allow it. “Everything looks good John,” Megan said walking into the exam room with his scans in a folder. She popped them into the display screen and turned on the light. “Your hips have healed some, but not much, I’m afraid this may be as much as they’re going to heal. But your arm and leg are still coming along nicely.”

“Your heart and lungs are recovering miraculously as well… besides your incident last week of course…” Maddie said. “Your stress test shows that you’re ready to return to normal activities.” She smiled.

John smiled and winked at Harold.

Harold blushed and quickly changed the subject, “So is he going to need to keep taking the blood pressure medicine?”

“No, everything looks good. That was probably just as a result of him overdoing it.” Megan said.

“Great, so when’s the next check-up?” John said getting off the exam table.

“Well… There’s no need to do it sooner than a couple months or so now, let’s say early March.”

“Sounds good.” John smiled and made his way out to the front desk with Harold.

#

“It really is stunning, isn’t it?” Harold admired the view of the River from the park bench he and John sat on under the Queensborough bridge.

“Yes.” John exhaled and wrapped his arm around Harold. The snow was starting to fall, and the sun was setting over the New York City skyline. It was Christmas Eve. Harold looked up at John and smiled. He thought about how close he was to losing this. The vision of John lying lifeless in that hospital bed. “What is it, Harold?” John asked noticing the smaller man gazing at him fondly with a little melancholy in his expression.

“Just… glad you’re here. That’s all.” Harold smiled and moved his view back to the river and the jungle of beautiful buildings behind it.

“You know it’s funny, five years ago, when you dragged me out of the precinct and brought me here. All I could think of was that Mark was going to be waiting for me with a black hood.” John smirked.

“I find it hard to find that idea humorous John.” Harold sighed.

“No, it’s not that.” John started to laugh, “I’m just thinking that the black hood option would have been much easier than trying to fight in the AI apocalypse.” He grinned.

“Oh yes, very funny John.” Harold smiled and sank further into John’s hold.

“So… about those normal activities, Megan was talking about…” John smirked and looked at Harold with all the love and affection he felt clearly shining in his eyes…

#

Harold sat on the edge of the bed later that evening with John sitting next to him. “Are you sure…” Harold started.

“How much more reassurance do you need Harold…” John sighed back expectantly.

“It’s just… your heart…” Harold whispered.

“Is perfectly fine.” John interrupted. “You heard what Maddie said…” John grasped Harold’s hand in his and brought it to his chest. He set Harold’s palm over his heart. “See? Sixty beats per minute… perfectly normal.” John smiled and all the reserve Harold had in his body… relaxed.

Harold lifted his hands up and cupped Reese’s jaw; Reese shamelessly leaned into his touch, his bright blue eyes fell shut as he nuzzled Harold's palm, his breath warm and damp on Harold's skin. John smiled at him, in a way that always makes Harold squirm, his own cock hardening quickly.

Harold lowered his hands, unbuttoned John’s shirt and kissed the scar on John’s collarbone above his undershirt. Reese made a small sound deep in his throat and his hands reached up to cup Harold's face. He locked their mouths together and Harold tilted his head slightly, deepening the kiss. Harold’s mouth went slack against John’s, another pleased sound escaped him and a stab of arousal shot straight through Harold. Reese pulled back... His eyes were narrowed, pupils were blown with longing. That sinful smirk was back as John's hands smoothly removed Harold’s tie and vest. Harold’s trembling hands reached down to work on John’s belt buckle.

Both down to their boxers… John nudged Harold down onto the bed. John placed his glasses on the table, well out of reach, then put his hand on Harold's cheek. He kissed his way down to Harold’s hips, slowly pulling down his silk boxers.

“Oh,” Harold exhaled sharply as John’s mouth tightened around his cock. His hands tangled in John's hair as John took him in all the way, John’s throat working eagerly. He thrust his hips in rhythm with John's gentle movements, a low gasp all the warning John got of Harold's impending release. A burst of salty, sweet wetness erupted inside of John’s mouth as Harold came with a violent shudder, shaking and trembling until he was thoroughly well spent. 

John made his way up to the head of the bed and kissed Harold again. “Harold.” His name came out as nothing more than a low growl, and Harold couldn't keep away from John any longer; couldn't stand not to touch. Harold reached his hand down beneath the ex-op’s waistband. John moaned, his eyes slipping shut for a moment, his hips bucked into Harold's touch twice before he regained control. “Oh God,” John groaned, the husky sound almost a broken sob in his throat while Harold slid his palm over the head of his cock, hard but oh so gentle little rubs that drove John higher, and he knew he was so extremely close now. Harold moved over closer to face John and kissed him open mouthed over and over as their mutual passion increased and he stroked John’s cock in the way that only Harold knew how to stroke him. Then John, not able to contain the pent-up need for release arched his back and let out a rough cry, his seed freeing from him in unbridled ecstasy, the evidence warm and wet in Harold’s hand, and they collapsed together, sticky, and drained and completely exhausted.

They cleaned each other up and relaxed back down into bed. “Well.” John huffed out not really knowing what to say.

Harold burst out into laughter at the understatement which made John start to laugh as well. They laid there for a while until the joyous laughter brought tears to their eyes. “I must admit I’ve missed this particular aspect of our relationship.” Harold wiped the happy tears from his eyes and pecked John on his lips.

 “Me too.” John sighed with a smile. He shifted a little to curl around Harold’s body like a blanket. He nuzzled his face into the crook of Harold’s neck and let out another long breath.

Harold turned on his side to face John. He traced his fingers over the long scar running from John’s sternum to about four inches above his belly button. He moved to the scar that ran horizontally across John’s stomach… “Harold…?” John asked noticing Harold’s trance-like appraisal.

“I will shoot you myself if you ever even consider doing something that stupid again.” Harold choked out. 

“I know.” John smiled and rolled over to turn off their bedside lamp. There was nothing else needed to be said on the subject.

The moon was igniting the night sky outside their window. Revealing the soft cottony snow falling gently onto the ground. “Goodnight Harold.” John kissed Harold’s forehead.

“Goodnight John.” Harold closed his eyes and thanked whoever or whatever was responsible for their good fortune and they both slowly fell to sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas day and night :)

Harold woke up still wrapped in John’s warm embrace. “Morning,” John said and Harold could tell he had that cheeky smile on his face.

“Morning.” Harold started. “What time is it?” He asked as he rolled over to look up to John with a squint.

“About nine.” John grabbed Harold’s glasses off the bedside table and placed them onto Harold’s face. “There. Better?” John smiled.

“Much. Thank you.” Harold scooted up and kissed John. “I’d better get up and start the food… the others will be here at about two.”

John just sighed and kissed him again. “Or…. We could cancel and just stay in bed all day.”

“As wonderful as that sounds John.” Harold paused when John linked their lips again. “I’ve already wrapped all the presents.”

John sighed and relaxed back down into the bed, “Fine…” Harold kissed him one last time. “When do I get my presents?” John laughed when Harold broke the kiss and stood up out of bed.

“Who said I got you anything, John?” Harold grinned as he made his way into the bathroom to shower. John laughed and settled back down into the bed.

#

John and Harold were cooking in the kitchen when the others arrived. Shaw arrived first, bringing with her a bag full of presents and a bone for bear wrapped up in red and white wrapping paper. Megan and Chris were next, also bringing some gifts and a bottle of wine. Lionel and Leon followed them and lastly Joey and Pia and Logan and Jack arrived. Megan and Pia offered to finish cooking so that Harold and John could go in the living room and watch the game with the others. John jumped at the chance, but Harold stayed, stating that baseball was the only game he was interested in watching. Logan and Shaw joined them in the kitchen, drinking most of the wine rather than helping with the food of course.

Once the food was ready, Harold called everyone into the dining room. Once everyone sat down and was ready to eat, Logan stood up, “Well… I’ve never been good at these things but here goes nothing. I think it’s safe to say that Harold and John are the reason most of us are still here. So…” Logan raised his glass, “To Harold and John.” Everyone raised their glasses and repeated Logan’s words. John and Harold just looked at each other and smiled.

“Let’s eat!” Reese laughed and started to cut up the turkey.

#

They opened the presents after dinner. After they had finished that, John discovered that Chris had never shot a Sig Sauer before so he, Fusco, Jack, Shaw, and Joey took him out back to the range and shot for a while.

Leon, Harold, and Logan all debated over what new technology product was better. Harold went with anything Microsoft over Apple, unlike the other two. Logan was in awe and showed off his new Centra-8 processor that Harold had given him, fully equipped with the new Hexcore designed by Harold himself. Most of the group just smiled at him and pretended that they had a clue as to what he was talking about. Shaw just gave him one of her looks and he passed on telling her anything about it.

After everyone left, Harold and John sat on the couch with Bear at their feet on his brand new doggy bed he got. _A Christmas Story_ was playing on the television and the fireplace was crackling. John was pillowed up next to Harold, they both laughed at the sight of Flick getting his tongue stuck to the flagpole.

Harold patted John on the leg, “I’ll be right back.”

“Okay,” John replied.

Harold came back with his laptop. “What do you have that for Finch?” John sighed.

“Your last Christmas present.” Harold smiled.

“You’re giving me your old laptop…?” John asked humorously with his brow furrowed.

“No… Well…” Harold started as he sat back down and started typing on the keyboard, “I saw the look on your face when we saw Daren in the store… and I just figured that I could look into the other people that we’ve helped… and show you what they’re up to.” Harold smiled and moved closer to John. “First one is Teresa Whittaker.” Harold smiled.

John grinned and rubbed the spot where the long-faded scar on his palm was from where Teresa cut him with a box cutter. “She was the first one we actually saved, as you remember I’m sure.” John kept smiling.

“Yes. Well, she’s now 19.” Harold smiled and showed John the picture of her in a graduation cap and gown. “She is attending Northwestern studying law.” John swiped through the pictures and documents showing that she obtained a scholarship for her grades and was on the dean’s list for her first year in college.

Harold moved to the next number. “Samuel Gates… he and his son are still living happily in New York, he’s the coach of Sam’s little league team…”

“Megan.” Reese smiled at the next image of Dr. Tillman that popped up on the screen.

“Yes. Thank goodness she handed those keys over to you.” Harold smiled.

He went on and on. Each picture bringing up fond memories… and not so fond ones... “Owen Matthews.” Harold started.

“He was… right after… Joss.” John stumbled over the words.

“Yes.” Harold changed the picture realizing he may not have thought that one through.

“No… no, tell me. What’s he doing?” John smiled.

“Currently still living under the alias I set him up with. He’s using his knowledge for good. He’s teaching English to kids in China.” Harold smirked. They spent the rest of the night, laughing… and crying their way through the numbers.

Once they were done, Harold set his laptop onto the end table and relaxed back down onto the couch.

John just stared at him, “I love you so much.” He smirked and pulled Harold in for a kiss. He broke away, “That was the best gift anyone’s ever gotten me.” He locked their mouths again.

“I love you too.” Harold smiled back against John’s lips. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas Harold.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Warning this chapter contains smut*  
> So I figured since they never told us when Harold's birthday was I'd just make it up. Also, the boys have a fairly steamy New Years Eve.

Harold’s birthday was December 30th. He and John had decided that they weren’t going to make a big fuss out of it… but John never said that he wouldn’t cook him dinner and surprise him with a brand-new surface pro 4 tablet that Harold had eyed in the Best Buy catalog the day after Christmas. The night before his birthday, they were lying in bed ready to go to sleep.

Harold rolled over, “John…? Are you awake?” He whispered.

“No.” John sighed back. He laughed and rolled over on his side to face Harold. “What is it?”

“I’ve just been thinking… and with my birthday being tomorrow and all…” Harold started. “And with me turning fifty-four…” Harold trailed off.

“I told you, Harold… fifty-four is the new twenty-one.” John smiled.

“No, it’s not that.” Harold let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in, “fifty-four is the age that my father started showing the early signs of Alzheimer’s.”

“Oh.” John started. “Well…” He didn’t know what to say.

“I just thought we should talk about it.” Harold started, “I just want you to know that if it happens to me… if I become…” Harold had a hard time even with the thought of the possibility, “You are under no obligation to stay. You didn’t sign up for that.”

John scoffed. “Harold…”

“No. You don’t know what it does to people. You don’t know what it’s like to... to…” Harold trailed off again at the memory of his father forgetting his own name and who he was.

“Harold.” John put a hand on his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere. No matter what happens.” John smiled. “I will remind you who I am every single day for the rest of your life if I have to… I’ll tell you who you are, I’ll tell you why you love me… and why I am completely in love with you. I’ll tell you about how you saved me. Made me a good man again…”

Harold cut John off with an open-mouthed kiss. They kissed slow but insistent, finally, Harold pulled back. “You don’t know why I love you.”

“It’s not my stunning good looks?” John laughed against Harold’s lips. 

“I love that you never even hesitate to put others in front of yourself.” Harold kissed him. “Even if it’s dangerous.” _Kiss._ “I love that even though your hands have done horrible things... they are the gentlest hands I’ve ever felt.” _Kiss_. “I love that little smile you get when you’re embarrassed or when someone compliments you.” _Kiss._ “I love that your heart is ten times larger than anyone else’s.” _Kiss_. “I love that even monsters like Kara Stanton and Mark Snow couldn’t change the type of man you are.” _Kiss._ “I love that even after everything you’ve been through John… you still stay true to who you are.” _Kiss_ … “And the stunning good looks don’t hurt.”

John smiled, “Wait… what smile do I get when I’m embarrassed?”

#

John was cooking Harold’s birthday dinner. He had been able to get Harold out of the house for a while; Leon came by and insisted that Harold came to help him figure out what was wrong with his computer system at he and Shaw’s new base of operations. Turns out Leon forgot to plug it in.

John had set the table and wrapped Harold’s gift, and set it right next to his plate.

He heard Harold’s car pull up so he hurried up and put the food on both he and Harold’s plates, poured both of them a glass of wine and sat down.

Harold walked into the house and tossed his keys on the counter and sat his scarf and hat on the hat rack. “It’s freezing out there. The next time Mr. Tao needs help remind me to…” Harold stopped when he walked into the kitchen.

“Happy Birthday.” John smiled and pulled out Harold’s chair. “Sit.”

“John… I thought we weren’t going to make a fuss…” Harold grinned and made his way over to the table.

“Well… I originally hired a barbershop quartet and got a bunch of streamers and balloons… but I figured that was a tad bit too much.” Reese smirked.

#

They finished eating their dinner and Harold opened his present. After he had scolded John for even getting him anything, he spent the rest of the night setting his new tablet up just the way he liked it.

John spent that time playing with Bear, rolling around on the floor and tossing his ball throughout the house for him.

“Tired boy? All right me too.” John huffed and pushed himself off the floor to go sit on the couch.

“I think John’s the one who’s tired huh Bear?” Harold laughed. “Because someone still thinks he’s Superman.”

“Ironman.” John scoffed.

“You’ve been an actual Iron Man too many times John! Or should I say Lead Man?... You’ve been shot so many times!” Harold teased and looked warmly at John. “Thank you….for everything tonight. It was perfect.”

They decided that the best way to end the day would be to snuggle close together in front of the fireplace with a steaming cup of hot chocolate for John and Harold’s Sencha green. They finished their hot beverages and slowly and lovingly nodded off to sleep content in each other’s embrace. The perfect end to the day indeed.

#

On New Year’s Eve, there was a massive snowstorm so Harold and John decided to stay in. “We’ve gotten at least 3 feet already,” John said looking out the window. They were watching Dick Clark’s a New Year’s Rockin Eve on TV. “What do you say we go to times square next year?” John said sitting down next to Harold on the couch.

“John… do you realize how many people think we’re dead?” Harold laughed as he took a sip of his tea.

“Yeah you’re right. That might not be such a good idea.” John laughed and threw his arm around Harold’s shoulders. “I haven’t watched this since I was a kid,” John said relaxing into the couch.

“Nor have I,” Harold smirked. “Nathan always tried to get me to go, but I was never particularly fond of crowds.”

John smiled. “No… not you…” He replied sarcastically. “So how does it feel to be fifty-four old-man?” John joked.

“Oh well, aren’t you just hilarious.” Harold jeered back.

“That reminds me…” John shifted and kissed Harold’s neck. “We fell asleep before I could give you the other present I had in mind.” He planted another kiss to the crook of Harold’s neck.

“Oh? And what would that be…?” Harold sighed knowingly.

John gently took hold of Harold’s shoulders and drew him up for a kiss, then John licked into his mouth eagerly, but sweetly. Harold moaned with pleasure as he tasted his lover’s sweet mouth and caressed his back fervently; he could feel John’s shoulder muscles relaxing under his hands. John surged up passionately but carefully and covered him with his body for a moment of shocking heat and desire. He kissed Harold’s lips, then shimmied down the couch pulling Harold’s trousers down as he went.

Harold lifted his hips as best as he could to try to help John tug off his pants. John got him down to his boxers, nudged at his already semi-hard erection and then pulled back. Harold’s eyes were blown wide open until John pulled away and his mouth fell open in disappointment at the loss of stimulation, “What…?” He lamented.

“Well, I just remembered you said you didn’t want to make a big fuss out of your birthday,” John answered with that endearingly wicked grin on his face that Harold so dearly loved.

Harold chuckled, “I changed my mind.” And pulled John closer.

John continued to tease and tease Harold until he was nothing but a puddle of want and need.

Harold was at his limits by the time Reese settled into a steady rhythm, hollowing his cheeks and taking Harold’s cock all the way in as he slipped one gentle finger inside Finch, pressing upward searching for that one perfect spot.  Harold had one hand fisted in the short hair at the crown of John’s head, the other squeezing desperately at his shoulder. Harold came with John’s name on his lips. He laid with his chest heaving, one arm draped across his face. John gently wiped him clean, his fingers lingering on the softness of Harold's belly, the inside of his thighs.

Harold slid his hand up around the back of John’s neck and pulled him up so their lips met. He broke the kiss and pushed John back down to lay on the couch. Harold lifted himself up and he gently straddled John. “Harold no… I don’t think… my hips…”

“Just relax John. Let me do the work this time.” Harold whispered as he leaned down to kiss John again.

“But what about your back and…” John was cut off by Harold once again locking their mouths together.

He unbuckled John’s belt and slid his pants and boxers off revealing his already wet hard, seeping cock. Harold sank down onto John’s leaking erection slowly, expertly using the copious amounts of precum it provided to ease his way in. His lover’s cock slid tightly but smoothly and pressed into the very deepest part of him wondrously. Harold was in heaven, reveling in the pleasure of being filled by his life mate. John was looking up at him with love and admiration, stunned, wide-eyed wonder and awed at Harold’s beautiful blissful expression, his mouth parted and his breath ragged as he purred John’s name over and over as he rode him. John began to shiver, and Harold descended forward, keeping John’s cock buried inside him but stretching out along the younger man’s torso to kiss him passionately. John’s hand tightened harder against Harold’s surging, aching cock, which was beginning to seep the glistening liquid again, and they came at very nearly the same time. A wonderful warm eruption of wetness burst inside Harold as John came with fierce force, quivering and trembling and breathing heavily inside his ardent embrace.

Harold carefully collapsed down beside John on the couch. Harold draped an arm around John’s shoulder and lazily ran his fingers through his hair. They laid there quietly as their breathing returned to normal. “Well… I have to say that was better than the tablet.” Harold sighed.

They both busted out into laughter once again. John wiped the happy tears from his eyes and kissed Harold on the forehead. “Happy belated Birthday.” He smiled.

After they had gotten enough strength back from their sexual escapades, they both got up and showered, dressed in their pajamas, and snuggled up on the couch again. Bear laid on the couch next to them, once John convinced Harold it was okay for him to be on the couch as if he really needed to. The fireplace was roaring and they sat there sipping tea and hot chocolate, petting their beloved dog, watching as the ball dropped as a symbol of a New Year and a new life for the two men.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Harold's turn to be taken care of :) hah this is kind of a filler chapter to get me to the next and final chapter! Hope you enjoy!

It was a couple of weeks later and Harold had gotten sick. John forced him to go in to see Megan, even after Harold had insisted it was just a cold. But after Harold developed a fever and had a coughing fit that almost made him black out… John practically dragged him outside and into the car.

It would be the first time either of them had been back in the city. So, they had to be careful, to say the least.

Harold was sitting on an exam table in one of the ER bays… eerily similar to the first time he met Megan. John was perched on one of the sink counters. “How long have you had the cough?” Megan asked listening to his labored breathing.

“About two days.” Harold wheezed.

“And the fever?” Megan asked as she took the stethoscope earbuds out of her ears.

“This morning.” Harold rasped out again.

“Okay, I’ll do a chest x-ray just to be sure… But I think it’s bronchitis. Which means if that’s what it turns out to be, there’s really not a lot I can do for you. Just advise you to load up on ibuprofen, Mucinex and ride it out.” Megan smirked. “Oh, and lots of orange juice and rest.” She added for good measure.

#

Harold and John made their way home. Harold fell asleep in the passenger seat, mumbling Charles Dickens quotes in his dreams. John just smiled and chuckled at the sick man next to him… occasionally reaching over and laying the back of his hand on Harold’s forehead to make sure the fever hadn’t gotten worse.

He left Harold in the car when he went into the drug store to stock up on the ibuprofen and Mucinex. He also grabbed two jugs of orange juice, some Sencha Green tea, throat lozenges, and some honey to mix in with the tea… a home remedy John had researched while waiting in line at the pharmacy.

He made his way back out to the car with the bags and set them in the back seat. Harold was awake, staring out the window. “Here… take these.” John handed Harold the cough drops.

“Thank… you.” Harold rasped and swallowed.

John put the keys in the ignition and off they went.

#

Harold’s fever had gotten worse when they got home. John got him into a long sleeve t-shirt and some sweatpants and helped him to bed. Once Harold was lying in bed propped up in his endless supply of pillows, John went out to the kitchen to get some of the medication and made some hot tea for Harold’s throat.

He put some chicken soup in a pot and set it on the stove, poured some of the tea into a mug and added some honey. He grabbed some of the pills out of their bottles and made his way back into the bedroom.

“I put some…” John stopped when he saw that Harold was asleep again. “Harold…” He sat down on the edge of the bed. “Come on wake up, you should take this medicine and eat.”

“Mmmmmm.” Harold groaned out and opened his eyes. He sat up and took the pills from John. He took a drink of his tea and immediately spit it out. “What is this?!?” He started to cough and couldn’t stop. John put a hand on his back and gently rubbed back and forth until the attack subsided.

“It’s your Sencha with honey in it…” John whispered. “I saw online that it should help with your sore throat…”

“Oh, John… you must never add anything to Sencha Green tea… it just simply does not work.”

John started to laugh, “Are you serious…”

Harold just looked at him, “Do I look… like I’m joking?” he wheezed.

“I’ll be back with some orange juice your majesty. Don’t worry, I won’t add anything to it. _Because it just simply does not work_.” John mocked the last part in a poor attempt at imitating Harold’s voice. Harold was not impressed. 

John brought Harold some soup and orange juice and he brought in a glass of orange juice for himself then set both glasses down on the end table. “Here you go…” He said as he set the bowl of soup in Harold’s lap.

Harold looked at John, “You know I really wish you wouldn’t make such…” _Cough_ , “A big deal out of this.” _Cough_.

“Says the man who didn’t leave my side the whole first three weeks I was in the hospital.” John grinned as he got into bed next to Harold. “I brought in one of your favorites,” John said and lifted up Oliver Twist to show Harold.

“Wonderful.” Harold sipped a spoonful of the soup.

He finished his soup and drank some of his orange juice. “I’m feeling a bit… woozy.” Harold slurred and slipped down into the covers.

“Yeah, that’s the fever… in addition to the medicine,” John laughed to himself at the sight of Finch taking off his glasses and almost missing the end table as he set them down. John wrapped an arm around Harold and snuggled him in. He opened the book and started to read… Harold sighed and laid his head on John’s shoulder.

#

“Here, he read of dreadful crimes that make blood run cold…” John paused his reading and looked over to Harold who was asleep on his shoulder. “Harold…?” He whispered. When Harold didn’t reply, John gently held his head up and slid out of the bed. He laid Harold’s head down onto the pillow gently and went to leave when he heard Harold mumble something… “Harold…?” He asked again.

“You never… told me why… you loved me.” Harold whispered with his eyes still closed.

John smiled and kneeled next to their bed, “I’ll tell you when you’ll actually be able to remember it.”

“Fair enough.” Harold whispered with a smile.

John brushed a kiss to Harold’s forehead and stood up, “Night Harold.”

#

Harold woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t stop coughing. John sat up and turned the light on, “Well… at least we know the Mucinex is working…” He said as he got up out of bed.

“Drink…” _cough_ , “please.” _Cough_. Harold grabbed the container that John had brought in earlier that day and spit out more of the ghastly green mucus that was in his chest. He groaned and collapsed back down into bed, still coughing, and trembling from the fever.

John brought in some cough drops and some tea. “Here, just try to take it easy.” He said affectionately.

Harold took the cup and drops. He drank some of the tea and handed it back to John. The coughing seemed to subside a bit once he put a cough drop in his mouth and he relaxed back down into bed. “John, you don’t have to… stay in here. You can go sleep in one of the extra bedrooms.”

“Here is just fine, I don’t want to leave your side.” John said tucking the comforter around Harold. “Want to watch some TV?” John asked.

“Why not.” Harold sighed with a small smile.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So here it is... the last chapter. I've really enjoyed writing this and I hope that you've all enjoyed reading it!  
> I started this and originally had no idea where I was going and never thought it'd be this long. But I feel like this is a good part to leave it at! 
> 
> Thank you all for reading!!

#

Chris was at the house and he and John were in the middle of one of his physical therapy sessions. The sessions had gotten to be much more strenuous as time went on. Now John was doing push-ups, lifting small free weights, and doing exercises to aid the range of motion with his arm. After the session, Chris shook John’s hand, “Well John… I don’t think you need me anymore.”

John raised his eyebrows, “What?” He asked.

“Well… I think this is as far as I can take you… you’re well beyond the stages of needing a babysitter and while I enjoy our afternoon chats, I think you’re ready to move on to doing the exercises by yourself.” Chris smiled.

“Oh… well, thanks… for everything.” John smirked and pulled Chris in for a half-handshake and half-hug. “I can’t say that I’ll miss your pushing, though.” He laughed.

“You’re welcome, and I won’t miss having to push you either.” Chris laughed too and made his way out of the room to say his goodbyes to Harold.

“I can’t thank you enough, Chris. You’ve made everything so much easier and I will never forget your help, my friend.” Harold shook Chris’s hand fondly. “If there is ever anything you need, please don’t hesitate to call me,” Harold told him.

“That goes for you too Harold, I’m happy to be able to call you both my friends.” Harold walked Chris to the door and waved goodbye to their newest friend. He was sure it wouldn’t be the last time that they would see him, though; he would make sure of that.

#

John and Harold were at John’s latest check-up. It was mid-March and John was recovering nicely.  His hips still bothered him the majority of the time, and he couldn’t quite lift his arm above his head… but he was alive and feeling good and he had Harold and that was really all that mattered.

“Well, John. Everything is still looking good.” Megan said as she walked into the room.

Harold smiled and squeezed John’s hand, “Is there anything surgery wise we can do for his pelvis? He’s still in a considerable amount of pain at times.”

John sighed and got that adorable embarrassed smile on his face that Harold so dearly loved.

“Probably not right now.” Megan started, “Surgery at this point could cause even more problems and pain…”

“That’s fine… it’s not something I can’t handle.” John sighed and glared at Harold.

Megan giggled, “All right. Next check-up will be your yearly in November.”

“Seriously?” John exclaimed happily.

“Yes, you’re fine, you’re doing remarkably well and there’s no need to keep coming here just for me to tell you that.” She smiled and hugged John and Harold. “You two stay out of trouble!” She scolded and then she left them alone in the room together.

“That’s wonderful John.” Harold was thrilled and leaned in to kiss John tenderly. “Things are most definitely looking up,” Harold said and John wholeheartedly agreed then pulled Harold in for a less than gentle kiss causing Harold’s cheeks to flush.

“Let’s celebrate,” John suggested and went to pull Harold in for a third kiss.

“Not here John!” Harold answered, swatting John’s hands away. “We’ll celebrate at home.” He added and rushed John to get to his feet so they could hurry to their house to begin the festivities.

#

Harold and John lay outside on their deck underneath the night sky. It was a warm spring night, the sound of crickets and frogs from the lake in the distance. Harold had his arm around John’s shoulders, he ran his fingers through the soft black and graying locks.

“You’re sense of humor,” John blurted out.

Harold turned his head as best he could and looked at John, “What?” He laughed, clearly confused.

“I love your sense of humor,” John stated. “Don’t you remember Harold? The night you were so sick you asked me why I love you.”

Harold started to smile as he recalled the night John was taking care of him,

“I really didn’t get it at first.” John started. “But you’d always let those dry, little smart-ass jokes come out here and there. And then I started to get used to them and I was expecting them and grew to love them.” John kissed the top of Harold’s head, “I love how smart you are. You are literally the smartest person I’ve ever met. You could destroy the world in one swipe of a computer mouse, yet you use all your knowledge for good.” _Kiss._ “I love your laugh... God, I love your laugh.” _Kiss._ “I love how you programmed the machine with morals and values. And it just shows how good of a man you are.” _Kiss_. “I love how you’ve lost everything in this life that’s mattered to you Harold and you still never gave up.” _Kiss_.

Harold grabbed the back of John’s neck and deepened the last kiss. He broke it off a few moments later… “Almost everything.” Harold smiled against John’s lips and they relaxed back down under the night sky watching the stars.


End file.
